Christian was absent so Shanti was appointed to lead us today.  She seemed unsure as the group assigned her rather than Christian, but she took up the torch and we were on our way.
 
I saw yellow, the most brilliant color.  And then lots of random every day thoughts and a deep sense of relaxation.  I had entered that hypnotic state also known by yogis as nidra.  There was a thinking quality that I experienced, and a dreamy one.  I saw Jaleena and was told to 'map it' but I wasn't sure what I was to map?

At one point a horrible thought came to my mind and immediately afterwards Peter, next to me cracked his knuckles and Shanti started to cough.  I was curious thinking, they had a visceral reaction it seemed.  The room then got quiet as I called in higher beings to undo what I had thought.  A brilliant color blue came in as Shanti called us back in to the room.
 
Shanti suggested that given we had time left that we go inward again, but this time to meet together in the cathedra over our crown chakra and that once doing so, we were to announce ourselves when we arrive.  I visualized my energy in this cathedra space and could see myself building it with mud like an adobe wall.  The mud felt therapeutic but it was hard to keep the mud overhead as it kept falling down, so this space had an opening at the top where the sun was able to shine in.  Before I went to the top though to see the sun, I started to paint the walls with the most brilliant colors. One was a blood red and it seemed to be from actual blood that was flowing about.  After the sun shined down, Shanti announced herself, then I did, followed by Judy and Bethany.  It seemed that Peter and  Shalom were hesitant so I held their hands and then they came in to.  Peter was last and when he came in, I felt this surge of energy that jolted through me when at last we had all converged together in this sacred space that we have created.  It was so healing and it seemed to undo my negative thought from earlier or at least I hoped that it did. 

​We came back into the room and I felt the power of today’s sit as I left and went back into ordinary time and my ordinary world to play out my ordinary day. 

​There was an even number, six of us today.  We began after a few minutes of chatter.  I sat opposite Christian as I let the evenness of the room ground me.  The room was hot and at first I felt uncomfortable, but I tried to ignore any body sensations. The first thing I saw was a spherical ball at my third eye.  Within the ball I saw loved ones tethered to the periphery of the ball.  Then my mind went to the elephant, Ganesh and overcoming obstacles.  Along the central cord, I meditated on the purple and red colors that I saw on either side of my spine.  My mind was so calm that I started to float until I heard Christian bring me back with the prompt of the friction breath.  I traveled for a few minutes to the underworld and saw frightening images cloaking me. I pulled away finally and surrounded myself with Archangel Michael and other higher beings.
 
I felt a connection with each member of the room and saw various envelops to give each one of my peers.  Jenna a crystal, Christian the word ‘home’ and Shalom the word ‘probability.’ Just before the envelops were shared, our group (including the ones not present today Judy, Bethany and Santosha) were in a cave traveling together under stalactites and trudging through clear water that was flowing.  We left the cave to go into the brilliant sun light with a rainbow of colors overhead illuminating each of us as we crossed over to the other side.  We felt this catherdra of Spiritual support amongst us before we were  called back to the ordinary plane.  Shanti hesitated in coming back so awed by being in the Spirit Realm and I nervously persuaded her to return reminding her of her spouse and his need for her to remain in body form.  She reluctantly did returned with the rest of us.
 
At the very end I felt this Falcon (and Raven) around and wondered there symbolism.
 
When Falcon comes flying into your life:
 
You are being asked to be vigilant. An opportunity for big positive changes in your life is close at hand and it will require good planning and strategy as well as action on your part. You are reminded that you have all the tools and knowledge to take advantage of this opportunity and that your success depends on your quick reactions. Stay focused and grateful for all that is coming your way. Know that you have the ability to soar high and see things with greater vision!
 
If Falcon is your Animal Totem:
 
You are independent and need to have alone time in order to be happy. You have a sharp mind and are very agile. You know how to mentally work out problems and are always three steps ahead of your peers and workmates. You have the patience to wait in order to get the most out of any opportunity that comes your way. You have impeccable timing and know exactly when to strike for the greatest benefit to yourself.

Today I went into a peaceful place during my meditation and felt that it was effortless and that I was floating through it in a receptive way.  My body felt well and the frequent pain that I get in my right upper back was hardly there.  I wanted to lie down and fall asleep but instead remained upright tried to correctly align my spine for the hour-sit.

Early on I got a message from Samuel or Maharaji or some guru to pay attention and to stay ‘awake’ because what was coming through to me was important and that I needed to take note of it.  I tried to bring myself back each time but I was drowsy with the comfort of just sitting in this peaceful space was alluring. 
 
Many animals floated by, a walrus and a camel.  Then a dark snake with yellow patterning circled around me.  I saw a rabbit while thinking of ideas for my upcoming meditation class that I will be teaching this fall.
 
I got the message that a parcel of land that my husband and I are thinking of buying is the right decision and other answers that I have been grappling with were effortlessly being solved while I tuned in.
 
I got the sense that I have done a good job during this lifetime of working on myself and received a congratulation of sorts.  I thanked all the higher beings for all the lessons that have been given and how valuable all my experiences have been in this lifetime.  I sat in gratitude for a good portion of the sit.  At one point I hibernated under a bear and felt this warm/safe spot.  I saw a lynx and understood that there are secrets about and not to worry as secrets are just a part of life.

I was told over and over again to allow myself to continue to receive all the gifts that this life has to share with me especially the sweet ones that will continue to come my way.
 
At the end when we were told to go above our crown chakra I saw our group and then the most beautiful illumination of Mother Mary and I thanked her for all of her love and protection before returning back to the room.
 
Camel dreams:

• Life goals and achievements.
• Following your dreams.
• Rushing through time.

Feelings that you may have encountered during a dream of a camel…Calm. Relaxed. Rejuvenated. Nourished. Refreshed. Relieved. Illuminated. Wise. Wholesome.

​Today I had questions that I was looking for the answers to in my personal and professional life.  The answers didn't really come, but I found that I was floating through the meditation with a sense of peacefulness. 
 
I did have some physical discomfort; my right knee felt stiff and started to get painful as I tried to hold myself still.  I moved more than usual as I focused on the answers that just weren’t coming. I did see a butterfly which I tend to associate with transformation and also an elephant at the end of the sit—which made me think of Ganesh, The Hindu God of overcoming obstacles. 
 
I felt a connection with the people in the room and was called out of my musing when I felt the room sync together.  The quiet so palpable, that it made me more present as I fervently took it in with wow we are syncing again this week.   At the end, as a group we were to join in as a cathedra and I envisioned each of us holding a sparkler.  We had talked before we started today about the solar eclipse and the dark permeating through the light and conversely how the moon (lunar eclipse) works in an opposite way which seemed to some a more auspicious occurrence.

The yin and yang of life can make anyone seasick but at this time of year even more so with the back to back eclipses (solar) lined geographically just so with where we are—Christian asked us to practice holding our energy above the head, so that we can get beyond the particles (astral debris) on earth that can laden us down. 
 
I felt hopeful today that even though it is  sometimes difficult for me to bring my energy above my head, I can do so with help from the energetic structure of the cathedra.  I also have  Ganesh  around to buffer me from the muck of life as I make my way slowly forward trying to transform from the caterpillar to the butterfly which happily seemed to be happening given the sight of the butterfly today. 

 I came today thinking that this would be my last day with the group as we are changing days to one that I thought wouldn't work for me.  This may not be true, we may continue on a day that I can come.  Another unanswered question, but for now I think I will just find peace in the not knowing how life will unfold next. 

​

I actually got to meditation early and got a chance to chat with a few members.  Christian came in last and didn’t say anything, just lite the candle and we began.  My first thought was that I had left my purse out in the hall and I had visions of someone stealing it.  I tried to reassure myself that this was silly and no one would take my purse but the anxiety over it continued. 
 
My heart was beating fast and I was having chest pains and I duly thought that this is what my patients experience with anxiety or panic.  My mind was totally calm but my chest was discomforting.  I started to remember the dream from the night before and how I was very angry with a family member in the dream.  How I yelled at her and said mean things and I wondered if I had been purging feelings in my psyche during my dream- time.  My crown chakra felt clear as we were directed to bring our energy there.  I felt that I was holding hands with the other group members and I felt that one of the members, Shalom felt unworthy and I mimed to her that she is worthy.  I saw parts of my self, a shell of my former self being released from my outercore. 
 
I visited my childhood home and once again stood on the hot pavement and traveled around the periphery and inside of my home.  I watched food being passed from the inside  to outside as we sat at the picnic table in the back to eat dinner.  I recalled our in-ground pool that was built when I was in high school and the bench and chair in the back that had been built from a tree that had been cut down.  The porch that later became a Florida room and my bedroom and my sister's that I had formerly shared with her.  I felt nostalgic like, Oh yeah, I remember that! 
 
At the end we were quiet when Christian asked for us to share.  He patiently waited and waited but no one said anything so we did an exercise in which we held the cathedra by looking at the person opposite us.  I saw Jenna’s aura on the left and Santosha standing behind her (even though he was a few seats over).  Then we were asked to close our eyes and were told to come together in unity by connecting with the group's energy.  I saw us standing on criss crossed bungee cords together bouncing up to the next level as we held hands and released debris that later turned into rocks.  The rocks then became our foundation which allowed for the safety of us to travel higher and higher.  It took away the fear of being so high up. 
 
As I left, I collected my water bottle and blanket that I had been sitting on and as I turned and looked behind me I noticed that I had left my purse there.  I had needlessly worried about nothing. 

Bethany and I were greeted with, “hey the prodigal children are back!”  The group seemed glad to see us return after a few weeks away.
 
When I went inward, I felt a little rusty do I still know how to do this?  Having some feelings of anxiety over what? I am not sure.  Christian had us connect to the group-energy through the cathedra of support that we create in togetherness.  I worried that my energy wasn’t centered and it would adversely affect the rest.  I felt a releasing of sorts as I started to let go and visualized energetic debris flowing out of my crown chakra as we were later directed there.  The color blue came through and animals started to float by my mind's eye—an ant and a donkey.
 
 I saw the number 87 and got the sense that this would be my age when I die.  I got a message from my grandmother’s friend, Marion Cashman that I was doing fine and not to worry that whatever decisions I make will be the right ones.  She has long since passed so she was speaking to me from the other side.  Her words were comforting to hear.  She was a grand lady who belonged to a country club; a good friend to my grandmother and then later to my mom.  Always kind and down to earth. She brought another girl and me to lunch before we headed to the same college.  She thought it would be nice for us to get to know someone we'd be going to school with.  This girl and I were opposites of each other.  I, somewhat wild and untamed and she a dainty blonde, shy and sheltered.  We didn’t seem at all alike Funny though, neither of us ended up graduating from that first college we attended.
 
I saw a black snake briefly and my husband with a jacket on.  Images that didn’t make sense also floated by that I cannot recall right now.  I do remember seeing a split version of myself with both ends staring at each other.
 
During this meditation, I was looking for answers but they weren’t coming to me.  I saw Bethany and she had a deck of tarot cards with a smirk on her face asking, Well what do you want to hear?  I found Christian as I climbed up a few stairs, like the Merlin from King Arthur but no answers to share.  I saw Shanti and Santosha in water swimming together and Judy playing with marbles. At one point during the meditation, our group was unclothed in water being cleansed and then we each put on new clothing that we were pleased with.  Like  we were getting ready to showcase a new version of ourselves.
 
At the end our group processed what had happened and someone brought up how a hermit crab sheds its shell before growing a new one and how it will then eat the old shell.  In many ways this work is like that.  Un-layering and letting go before we can re-build by involuting, which then allows us to begin again. 

Ok, I am little freaked out right now, Bill and I are celebrating our 34th year anniversary today in Barbados with the family and he just innocently gifted to me a green gem from the sea. Unbeknownst to him it is the one that I have been looking for quieting all week after last week's meditation.  

​Diamond in the rough on our anniversary...indeed.

There was seven of us.  Three men and four women.  We were directed above our head to start.  I saw debris for the first several minutes and then a deep purple.  Lots of animals came up today.  A poisonous snake.  I petted a big tiger and saw bats and recalled their Native American meaning of rebirth.  Something has to die before the next can live.
 
In the ocean’s water I saw gems that were hard to find.  The fake ones were evident but I had to dig through dirt to find the gems. 
 
Not too much else came through today except to keep my eye out for a green gem and that I will know it when I see it.  (Maybe in Barbados. I leave for there on Friday and plan on snorkeling with my granddaughter.)

​I arrived a few minutes late and the group has started.  My interruption was the first, but not the last.  Unusual for the group there was a lot of noise. A few people actually got up.  One to leave coughing and another to presumably turn off her phone.  The windows were open and the rain and wind rattled the building, which seemed to create further distraction.  I don’t mind continuous subtle noise but find abrupt sounds especially jolting.  I cannot complain though since I seem to have started this by walking in late.  
 
The group consisted of nine and Christian already has us directing our awareness above the head.  I saw a peacock feather and tried to focus on it before allowing my awareness to move from this focused place to the rhythm of the friction breath.  Many images came up.  A multicolored, crystal, jutted wall with metal steps cut out that I climbed straight up.  My grandmother’s house and a piano.  
 
I sensed my body morphing into a mammoth version of myself layers and layers of fat—like I had been ballooned up and then I disappeared to only a purple spec of color that represented my soul.  I then am re-embodied as I looked out to my imperfect self from above.  I see a key and it's within reach. 
 
Later, from Spirit I am told that I will get a message from someone in the group and that I should listen well.  We partnered up at the end and Peter and I stare into each others eyes. The message from him that I garner is that I can start to un-layer that protection that I have wrapped around myself during this lifetime during all these years and to allow my self to be open and to be real. 
 
The message is go with the river of life (it is teeming rain as I write this) and know that I can trust in myself and don’t need to seek the answers from the outside.  To listen when Spirit talks through other people and to know that I can incorporate this wisely if I just go within.
 
 Later I went to my office to meet with a new highly spiritual client who teaches piano for a living. She was seeing me today to deal with trauma from a situation that parallels the one I have been grappling with. She is despondent, she wails that it isn’t fair. She asks Why?  I tell her I understand. And then I share with her these words from Spirit that I have incorporated into my being over the last few months.  Take a back seat.  You have done all that you can do.  Trust and let go of the outcome and know that it will work out as it will.  She leaned in.  She listened and so did I.
 
(The specifics of today’s session are vague and/or have been changed for privacy purposes.)

All nine of us begin today and I find that I am very still.  I try to align my head with my spine as I go inward.  Similar images come through this week that I have had in past meditations—water, a snake that morphs to and from a  turban.  I see Santosha briefly with a turban on his head.  The water that I am in is mostly clear—at times crystal clear and others somewhat murky. 
 
I laugh to myself at one point that as a group we sync after  several minutes go by. It is palatable to me when this happens.  We are all “in” and together this creates synergy.

At the end of the meditation and throughout I feel this great sense of healing that is taking place within me.  I am imbued with the message that self-healing is possible and we can access this at anytime.  Right before coming back, I see this Sisterhood and join them before opening my eyes to the presence of the group. 
 
Ironically, Santosha and I end up partnering up during an activity and we share what we would like to get from this life.  I tell him that I want to find enough completion that I can move on from here someday and never have a need to come back to this plane.