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I actually got to meditation early and got a chance to chat with a few members.  Christian came in last and didn’t say anything, just lite the candle and we began.  My first thought was that I had left my purse out in the hall and I had visions of someone stealing it.  I tried to reassure myself that this was silly and no one would take my purse but the anxiety over it continued. 
 
My heart was beating fast and I was having chest pains and I duly thought that this is what my patients experience with anxiety or panic.  My mind was totally calm but my chest was discomforting.  I started to remember the dream from the night before and how I was very angry with a family member in the dream.  How I yelled at her and said mean things and I wondered if I had been purging feelings in my psyche during my dream- time.  My crown chakra felt clear as we were directed to bring our energy there.  I felt that I was holding hands with the other group members and I felt that one of the members, Shalom felt unworthy and I mimed to her that she is worthy.  I saw parts of my self, a shell of my former self being released from my outercore. 
 
I visited my childhood home and once again stood on the hot pavement and traveled around the periphery and inside of my home.  I watched food being passed from the inside  to outside as we sat at the picnic table in the back to eat dinner.  I recalled our in-ground pool that was built when I was in high school and the bench and chair in the back that had been built from a tree that had been cut down.  The porch that later became a Florida room and my bedroom and my sister's that I had formerly shared with her.  I felt nostalgic like, Oh yeah, I remember that! 
 
At the end we were quiet when Christian asked for us to share.  He patiently waited and waited but no one said anything so we did an exercise in which we held the cathedra by looking at the person opposite us.  I saw Jenna’s aura on the left and Santosha standing behind her (even though he was a few seats over).  Then we were asked to close our eyes and were told to come together in unity by connecting with the group's energy.  I saw us standing on criss crossed bungee cords together bouncing up to the next level as we held hands and released debris that later turned into rocks.  The rocks then became our foundation which allowed for the safety of us to travel higher and higher.  It took away the fear of being so high up. 
 
As I left, I collected my water bottle and blanket that I had been sitting on and as I turned and looked behind me I noticed that I had left my purse there.  I had needlessly worried about nothing. 

Bethany and I were greeted with, “hey the prodigal children are back!”  The group seemed glad to see us return after a few weeks away.
 
When I went inward, I felt a little rusty do I still know how to do this?  Having some feelings of anxiety over what? I am not sure.  Christian had us connect to the group-energy through the cathedra of support that we create in togetherness.  I worried that my energy wasn’t centered and it would adversely affect the rest.  I felt a releasing of sorts as I started to let go and visualized energetic debris flowing out of my crown chakra as we were later directed there.  The color blue came through and animals started to float by my mind's eye—an ant and a donkey.
 
 I saw the number 87 and got the sense that this would be my age when I die.  I got a message from my grandmother’s friend, Marion Cashman that I was doing fine and not to worry that whatever decisions I make will be the right ones.  She has long since passed so she was speaking to me from the other side.  Her words were comforting to hear.  She was a grand lady who belonged to a country club; a good friend to my grandmother and then later to my mom.  Always kind and down to earth. She brought another girl and me to lunch before we headed to the same college.  She thought it would be nice for us to get to know someone we'd be going to school with.  This girl and I were opposites of each other.  I, somewhat wild and untamed and she a dainty blonde, shy and sheltered.  We didn’t seem at all alike Funny though, neither of us ended up graduating from that first college we attended.
 
I saw a black snake briefly and my husband with a jacket on.  Images that didn’t make sense also floated by that I cannot recall right now.  I do remember seeing a split version of myself with both ends staring at each other.
 
During this meditation, I was looking for answers but they weren’t coming to me.  I saw Bethany and she had a deck of tarot cards with a smirk on her face asking, Well what do you want to hear?  I found Christian as I climbed up a few stairs, like the Merlin from King Arthur but no answers to share.  I saw Shanti and Santosha in water swimming together and Judy playing with marbles. At one point during the meditation, our group was unclothed in water being cleansed and then we each put on new clothing that we were pleased with.  Like  we were getting ready to showcase a new version of ourselves.
 
At the end our group processed what had happened and someone brought up how a hermit crab sheds its shell before growing a new one and how it will then eat the old shell.  In many ways this work is like that.  Un-layering and letting go before we can re-build by involuting, which then allows us to begin again.