Today it was just Bethany, Alice, Christian and me so we once again decided to use Christian’s office.  I was looking for a meditation space to be in near the sun and decided on one particular chair that Christian for some reason didn’t want me to use.  He actually moved it into a corner which I found somewhat peculiar. We tousled playfully with words on if I could use this chair or not and finally he acquiesced and I got to use it as he shifted it back in the circle for me.  It seemed all was settled until a few of us stared at the empty space on the floor across from Christian as the two women were now across from me on the couch and Christian the lone person in the foursome on the floor with no one opposite him.  Finally Bethany got up and went over to the floor across from Christian and all seemed righted once again.  Bethany is tall and stately with an elegant air and it seemed fitting that she across from Christian today.  They have more experience doing this work and it felt in some ways like they the masters and Alice and I the apprentices. We joked a bit longer before we got down to business for a 50-minute meditation sit. 
 
At first I had trouble dropping in.  There were noises in the hall and my cell phone started to ring at one point.  I quietly turned it off but not before Christian (and the group) took notice. I especially felt  Christian's energy taking it in; that I hadn't turned off my phone before we began. I started to feel a little anxious about this after the ringer went off and hearing the noises in the hall but it wasn’t too long after that I started to  center and let go. I did try not to lean back against the chair but the sun and the comfort of the chair were lulling me back and my body/mind started to move into more of a nidra state than one of alertness. (I now understand why Clairvision/meditation groups encourage not leaning into the chair if not sitting on the floor.). A few times  I felt my body fall slightly forward like I was going to nod off.  (Others shared later that they felt this sensation too.) Strangely going to Black Mountain came up again this week. It wasn't as pressing but I was drawn to going there for yoga. 
 
After a good bit.  I started to wonder where Samuel was and he remarked from over my right shoulder that he was here and then immediately afterwards to my left, I saw an adversarial person who has recently reentered my life in my visual field to the left. I wondered why I was seeing them both almost simultaneously and thought maybe Samuel is in some way helping me with this problematic person? I saw the usual animals again today, the horse that I slipped into and the walrus.  I also saw a peacock this time. It took me a moment to identify its feathers.  At one point I saw Christian and I standing at a crossroad (intersection) near my office as we were back last summer the day he asked me to join.
 
Half way in he guided us to move into the chakras and I was (once again) impressed with how unhurried he was  today with his prompts .  

We were directed to start at the throat and this week instead of seeing a rope, I saw baby snakes swimming around and I intuited that a few were poisonous. At the heart envelop I felt some expansiveness but it was hard to stay there.  My mind kept drifting elsewhere from this spot. At the solar plexus I felt slightly nauseous and I was curious why.

At another point I saw a beer in a big mug and I drank it down knowing that I shouldn’t but it was so tempting and tasted so good.  I let myself enjoy it. At the end Christian had us merge the ‘charge’ area with the third eye I am not sure how the words were prompted but it felt like a triangle moving out from my body to an apex away from the conjoined two spots below and above. Like a trinity of energy and a kundalini rising of sorts.  I saw the most amazing light afterwards that billowed outward with streams that had an angelic nature about them. My mind then traveled to the heart area and I saw a box which I opened with a key that I was given. In it was a book.  It seemed that it held my records, specifically those of how this life pertains to a past one that I’ve had.  One that keeps coming up for me. I opened the book and the paper seemed ancient even though it was pristinely intact.  The cover said “Me”.  I felt that it contained secrets held that I am starting to uncover or should I say unravel(?)  Secrets and lessons that I can access through this work meditating and writing. 

We talked about our experience when we finished and Bethany remarked how amazing she feels on Tuesdays after our group.  I said to the group that I sometimes feel spacy afterwards, like I need to be in one reality or the other but I am stuck inbetween as it is taxing for me to go back to the other when leaving here.  My words especially ring true right now tonight but I can be relieved to know that my day is over and all that is required of me is finishing this before going to bed. 

The peacocks feathers are meaningful to those with this power animal, for they also have an association with resurrection, rising out of the ashes. They can help us shed the old feathers of the past and to take back the true beauty of our individuality. 
​http://www.shamanicjourney.com/peacock-power-animal-symbol-beauty-watchfulness-immortality

 Just Christian and Judy and me.  We gather in Christian’s office today instead of upstairs and Judy opts for the chair and I for the couch.  Christian positions a lite candle on the floor and himself in front of it. 
 
He tells us that we are going to do a longer meditation today 45- 50 minutes. My mediation practice doesn’t usually exceed 30 minutes at home so I wonder how this will be for me.  I am glad I opted for the couch today.
 
We start and Christian gives us a few prompts with the friction breath and the third eye but little more for the first 30 minutes.  My mind calms at points and at other points I get anxious.  I fantasize about needing to go to Dobra Tea in Black Mountain and wonder what that is about?  Why do I feel this urgency to go there today??  I see the usual animals, a giraffe that I pet and a pony that morphs from horse to donkey and an anaconda (why all these snakes visions/dreams and sightings???).  We then do a chakra type meditation that starts above the crown.  I see a real crown and a mini version of myself hovering above me.  An innocent picture of my younger self floating above.  At the throat there is a rope.  It isn’t strangulating but it is lodged there. At the dan tian (below the navel) site I see an umbilical cord connecting me outward to Source. 
 
I also see Samuel a few times.  He seems frustrated and I wonder if he is starting to give up on me.  He is with others who have passed who he has joined together with and he is turning to one of them talking about me questioning my readiness. Maybe one of them is Maharaji(?)  I get the sense that they are putting together a cathedra on earth and he is thinking I might not be ready to join the group.  Maybe this group is one filled with lightworkers.  He seems frustrated with me.  Like I could be further along than I am.  We move on to the last chakra and then up again.  I am surprised how still I can be.  

​The meditation finishes with a discussion of our experiences.  I wonder if Judy and Christian think that my seeing Samuel is just made up and not real.  I question this myself.  Maybe he will send me some type of validation next week that this isn't just a dream.
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/energy/dantian.php

Interestingly, anaconda are a boa and choke their prey.  
Anaconda in a dream more often symbolizes asphyxia or lack of something. Sometimes anaconda reflects the meaning of pressure of outer circumstances on a dreamer, or his/her pressure on somebody.

If you dreamed of an anaconda, it means that in the near future, be ready for big changes, both at work and in personal life. The appearance of anaconda in a dream means that very soon there will be a new acquaintance, a friendship with whom will bring a lot of happiness and joy in life and fill it with new meaning.

All people without exception, from time to time, have dreams. In general, they are of different plot. Sometimes, these dreams are about adventures, horror, strangers, animals or panic. Nastiest creatures that can be seen in a dream and cause wild terror are snakes. Special attention is paid to boas and anacondas as they are very large and can embrace and strangle a person.

​Anaconda is a snake in the family boas. Its length sometimes reaches up to eleven meters. It should be mentioned that a snake in a dream promises a great victory over a dangerous and terrible enemy.

​

I have been away for the last three weeks and excited to return!
 
We gathered in our tight knit circle arranged today on pillows except Judy who chose to sit in a chair.  There's more joviality and small talk to start and then we settled in to the third eye meditation.  I couldn’t tell you what directives Christian gave other than there was more than the usual amount.  I got the sense that Samuel was guiding him in some discreet way and proud of how well Christian is managing us.  I also got the sense that Samuel was impatient with me at one point when my mind wandered.  He snapped his fingers and said pay attention. 

When the meditation first started Peter who was sitting across from me seemed to energetically come towards me.  I felt that it was strange like the grim reaper had appeared for me.  That is what I thought.  This guy's job in real life is to transport dead bodies to the morgue—and today he’s coming for me! Like he was picking up some part of me that died or needed to die but had yet to be re-born. 
 
I then saw the usual animals—an eagle and also got the sense of a bat (rebirth).  After Peter’s energetic lurch in my direction I saw an ostrich—and thought what am I unwilling to let die and what am I burying my head in the sand about?? I shared with the group this strange visual that I had of Peter hopeful that he wouldn’t take offense.  On the contrary, he actually pulled out a business card a friend had made for him as a joke which had a Grim Reaper saying on it!  Funny and frightening too!
 
The second half was bhramari, a yogic term for breathing by making a buzzing sound.  We were directed by the tape to do six rounds of making this buzzing sound followed by a minute of silence after each one.  We were to concentrate on the third eye and throat area as we did this.  Not to take it too seriously as being lighthearted was to be a part of the experience.  My third eye saw bees (a few that stung me), then a honey comb.  I felt intoxicated and then irritable.  The feeling of irritability seemed to pass as I stared at the queen bee who had an apron on and was looking at me smiling.  Then I was Winnie the Pooh dripping in honey and  finally it finished with bees wax dripping down my third eye. I joked with the group that I felt buzzed at the end of the experience.  A little intoxicated from all of that honey coated (Pooh) bear experience!