I stepped back observing my sympathetic nervous system's response to what was happening as I was freaking out at the same time that I was trying to settle in. The reason why( in part) I had this somewhat irrational worry was because indeed a few weeks before I had left a candle burning and when I got to meditation I remembered this and had to leave abruptly to go blow it out. Too the flight/flight activation was in memory of a house fire that I lived through. A malfunction in a toaster that burned our kitchen so badly back in 2001 that we had to leave our home that day. We never did return to the house as we moved shortly after and went from temporary housing to a new home. It was quite traumatic and given my carelessness a few weeks before, especially triggering today.
Christian must have been feeling the unrest in the room because he asked us to connect with others at their heart envelop, and after I did this I was able to quiet my mind and body and sit in the awareness of my third eye. I saw images of a rat and I really don't like rats (who does?!). I tried not to run from the image and wondered what it meant. I also saw an acorn at my throat chakra and later the Goddess Kali-the Indian Goddess of rebirth, death and destruction was there as were all these snakes around her when I open the 'treasure box'. One of them started to eat the rat and I though this makes sense as rats are food for snakes.
I remembered a friend who had put something about the inauguration on FB inviting in Goddess Kali and how angry I was that she would do this. Doesn't she know that Kali is laughing? Doesn't she know that Kali never works with how we intend her to but at her whim. (Thy Will not ours. ) (Why didn't she call forth Lakshmi the Goodess of good fortune I wanted to post this reply but didn't. Oh well....I shouldn't demonize Kali rather see her as the deity that's purpose is to sweep out the old to allow in for the new--like the tornados that recently touched down and the fire that occurred for me 16 years ago.)
Right after the seated practice we were asked to lie down for a 'night practice' and after a sweeping body scan and a count down in the breath starting at 21, we were asked to recall visions from our day by the narrator. I recalled a dream I had the night before and remember now from Samuel's CV book that the third eye is the vessel for memories that we can use to access them.
Late in the day, I went to yoga and there was a sub who played this talk during savasana on Grace. It was about baptism and how through forgiveness and love then Grace can be found through the Christian tradition and in Hinduism, how this is done with the Goddesses, and finding the highest Self, called Atman. I likened the fragments within the self in psychology to the Trinity and the Goddesses. Not something external but dimensions of our oneness that we are working to integrate. Maybe even Goddess Kali with her ruthless swoop can be seen as just a part of all of us that is trying to be illuminated from the darkness within.
Your rat dream may be a sign to hang in there. Keep trying—don't give up. In the end, you will be successful.
An acorn represents that situations are going to get better in your life and that you are going to grow spiritually. http://www.auntyflo.com/dream-dictionary/acorn
- A snake is a symbol of the unconscious
- Snakes or serpents indicate you’re in the process of healing and resolving issues
- The snake is a symbol for an untamed part of yourself or an untapped resource
- Snakes could represent your intuition or spiritual aspects of yourself; your instinctual drive, what moves you from the depths of your soul
- Snakes or serpents tend to show up in dreams in times of transition and transformation
- From the classic Freudian perspective, a snake or serpent is a phallic symbol http://www.snakedreams.org/snake-dream/