Then a body washed up on shore and it was I. Facedown, lying there with a moccasin on my foot. I pondered for a moment if this had to do with a past life that I had had. I tried not to get into the thinking mind and soon the scene shifted and I saw a dismembered leg.
I regressed to childhood. I could see my home. I saw our front yard and fence and the flowers that hugged the sidewalk. The lamppost out front. The warmth of the driveway and the bushes that lined the back. Memories flowed by of friends and events and chores that I did.
The almost tragic time when my brother nearly drowned came through too. I could feel my heart pounding as I went back and ‘saw’ and felt the events of that day. Me pulling his heavy body out of the water after he had falling in and my father and the neighbor running over to help save him. How when he was rescuitated it was like he went from lifeless to full of life in an instance. I remembered how my mom came home from shopping and got him back in the water that day. How my father was angry at the 12 year old who was supposed to babysit us and how unrealistic this expectation was not to mention the expectation of me saving him.
Most of what I remembered though were happy memories of the mundane and seemingly unimportant of life. Events that traveled with me through the time of my marriage. Spans of time and a yearning to step back and be there for more than a passing moment. I experienced the smells, feeling of warmth of pavement, tickle of grass on my barefeet, the blue station wagon we had and even the sounds of the hustle and bustle of summer. Time could only be watched and experienced from afar and I now wonder if this is how death is when we look down and see.
Right before Christian brought us back I saw my dead body in a casket at the end of my life. The way I looked shifted a few times but I knew myself to be old. I peered down (at me) with my soul-self looking on. I knew as I returned from the third eye meditation today that in each moment we live and die and what I experienced is just life reflected back to me with a magnitude that allowed for me to see this cycle of time that is occurring continuously.