When I went inward, I felt a little rusty do I still know how to do this? Having some feelings of anxiety over what? I am not sure. Christian had us connect to the group-energy through the cathedra of support that we create in togetherness. I worried that my energy wasn’t centered and it would adversely affect the rest. I felt a releasing of sorts as I started to let go and visualized energetic debris flowing out of my crown chakra as we were later directed there. The color blue came through and animals started to float by my mind's eye—an ant and a donkey.
I saw the number 87 and got the sense that this would be my age when I die. I got a message from my grandmother’s friend, Marion Cashman that I was doing fine and not to worry that whatever decisions I make will be the right ones. She has long since passed so she was speaking to me from the other side. Her words were comforting to hear. She was a grand lady who belonged to a country club; a good friend to my grandmother and then later to my mom. Always kind and down to earth. She brought another girl and me to lunch before we headed to the same college. She thought it would be nice for us to get to know someone we'd be going to school with. This girl and I were opposites of each other. I, somewhat wild and untamed and she a dainty blonde, shy and sheltered. We didn’t seem at all alike Funny though, neither of us ended up graduating from that first college we attended.
I saw a black snake briefly and my husband with a jacket on. Images that didn’t make sense also floated by that I cannot recall right now. I do remember seeing a split version of myself with both ends staring at each other.
During this meditation, I was looking for answers but they weren’t coming to me. I saw Bethany and she had a deck of tarot cards with a smirk on her face asking, Well what do you want to hear? I found Christian as I climbed up a few stairs, like the Merlin from King Arthur but no answers to share. I saw Shanti and Santosha in water swimming together and Judy playing with marbles. At one point during the meditation, our group was unclothed in water being cleansed and then we each put on new clothing that we were pleased with. Like we were getting ready to showcase a new version of ourselves.
At the end our group processed what had happened and someone brought up how a hermit crab sheds its shell before growing a new one and how it will then eat the old shell. In many ways this work is like that. Un-layering and letting go before we can re-build by involuting, which then allows us to begin again.