I actually got to meditation early and got a chance to chat with a few members. Christian came in last and didn’t say anything, just lite the candle and we began. My first thought was that I had left my purse out in the hall and I had visions of someone stealing it. I tried to reassure myself that this was silly and no one would take my purse but the anxiety over it continued.
My heart was beating fast and I was having chest pains and I duly thought that this is what my patients experience with anxiety or panic. My mind was totally calm but my chest was discomforting. I started to remember the dream from the night before and how I was very angry with a family member in the dream. How I yelled at her and said mean things and I wondered if I had been purging feelings in my psyche during my dream- time. My crown chakra felt clear as we were directed to bring our energy there. I felt that I was holding hands with the other group members and I felt that one of the members, Shalom felt unworthy and I mimed to her that she is worthy. I saw parts of my self, a shell of my former self being released from my outercore.
I visited my childhood home and once again stood on the hot pavement and traveled around the periphery and inside of my home. I watched food being passed from the inside to outside as we sat at the picnic table in the back to eat dinner. I recalled our in-ground pool that was built when I was in high school and the bench and chair in the back that had been built from a tree that had been cut down. The porch that later became a Florida room and my bedroom and my sister's that I had formerly shared with her. I felt nostalgic like, Oh yeah, I remember that!
At the end we were quiet when Christian asked for us to share. He patiently waited and waited but no one said anything so we did an exercise in which we held the cathedra by looking at the person opposite us. I saw Jenna’s aura on the left and Santosha standing behind her (even though he was a few seats over). Then we were asked to close our eyes and were told to come together in unity by connecting with the group's energy. I saw us standing on criss crossed bungee cords together bouncing up to the next level as we held hands and released debris that later turned into rocks. The rocks then became our foundation which allowed for the safety of us to travel higher and higher. It took away the fear of being so high up.
As I left, I collected my water bottle and blanket that I had been sitting on and as I turned and looked behind me I noticed that I had left my purse there. I had needlessly worried about nothing.
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