We once again started quickly. The group mostly the same except Alice was sick and Mary was joining us today. Mary used to work with a few of us and is a lovely person. Usually at this stage someone new might not be welcomed and even viewed as an intruder, but Mary’s way of being is soft and she fit right in so well that it was like she had been with us from the start.
As I positioned myself on the floor, I felt uncomfortable on the first pillow that I put under me and the second one didn’t feel much better. I was self-criticizing for overeating and eating the wrong foods (meat and sugar) recently which has made me feel bulky, leadened and bloated and contributed to my having trouble today settling in with my tight pants constricting my midsection. As has become typical for me, many images floated by, a few animals (a pony, butterfly and eagle) but a unique one came through that of an old fashioned coke bottle. Why a coke bottle I thought?
By the end of the initial meditation I had an urge to use the bathroom and held my breath as Christian advised that we were to go into the next activity without pause. I was excused though and was relieved (no pun) when I came back and hadn't missed much except we had moved about to join a partner. We were paired when I was gone and returned to see that I was with Shanti. As her ebony eyes stared at me I was thinking that the pairing felt right and could tell that she had made the decision to allow me to start as the receiver. She voiced this too but needant as I could tell by the look in her eyes.
We eye gazed at each other for several minutes and I tried to take in what was occurring in this shared (sacred) space and receive through an openness in my third eye. A few times I even shut my eyes not because of the intensity of her gaze but because I wanted to fully experience what was flowing and by shutting them this allowed me to better absorb what was occurring. With my eyes closed I saw her silhouette clearly defined. I assumed it was Shanti's outline but maybe it was my own aura that I was peering into. Each time I closed my eyes I clearly saw this auric sight. I also had a vision of me giving myself a massage started on my back and then on my front. It was strange doing this to myself but it felt nurturing and good. At the end I was split down my middle and then thought of a wishbone and am curious of its significance in dreamtime other than Thanksgiving is coming.
When it was my turn to be the holder of space I relaxed into it and at one point I could see Shanti's ancestors behind her. It started with her mother and grandmother but then it rippled back generations really and then before I knew it those women became a Sisterhood of tribal relatives. I was honored that these powerful women appeared to me given I feel a close alignment with Native American medicine-teachings and have read many books about them as well as have done a few of their practices. (The nearest thing to a guru that I have had has been Jamie Sams author of the Medicine Cards.)
During the last partner activity with my eyes closed a vision came of the Sister’s forming a circle and telling Shanti and I to hurry and get into the middle of it because there wasn’t much time and as we did they started to close around us and brush us off with a large feather that was almost as tall as we were. As soon as we were brushed the circle started to dissipate as Christian asked us to open our eyes and finish with our partners. During the sharing part, Christian honored all experiences as valuable but placed special emphasis on those shared visions that both partners experienced. Shanti didn’t have this same vision as me but the Sisters are no stranger to her.
She told me that White Eagle guides her and that she has a circle of women that she remotely 'meets' with weekly. She even alluded to me joining in on their yearly event in June in which they all gather at. Even though my pants were tight and the beginning was distracting, I felt that today's session was just as powerful and meaningful as the others have been, if not more.