I am visiting family and have asked my nephew if I could interview him. He is at the magical age of 10 hovering between child and adolescent and he is a dear one, which you will hopefully see after reading this. (Picture of Mateo in the yellow with brother, Gavin)
Me: What grade are you in?
Mateo: Fifth grade.
Me: If you're to name three qualities a teacher has that's most important what would you say they are?
Mateo: That's tough. I would have to say keeping your students organized and not so they'd run around. I don't know which quality you would put that in now, maybe organization would be a quality. I would say selflessness because you have to worry about your students not just you, and I would also say forgiving.
Me: Tell me more about forgiving.
Mateo: Because if your student makes a mistake, you can't be on it for the whole year. You have to eventually let it go.
Me: What is the biggest challenge of kids your age?
Mateo: I would say not worrying so much about what you're going to have in the future.
Me: Tell me more about that.
Mateo: I mean like you don't need to worry about what's going to happen in the future when you should be focusing on the past. So if I was worried about a test in January, and it's only September, I shouldn't worry about that test yet, because that would be for another four months or so. So I'm trying to say, when the time comes, you can get it over with without worrying about it four months earlier, because it's just going to make it more stressful.
Me: Do you think that people live their life worrying about January when it's September?
Mateo: I think people predict what will happen in the future. People do worry, because they (think) about the future because you eventually are going to have the future it's not never going to come so it's hard not to worry about the future. And sometimes people even worry about what they should have done differently in that process.
Me: Do you think this is more a problem with kids or adults?
Mateo: I think no matter if you live in Asia or North America I think everybody worries about the future and the past.
Me: What do they worry about with the past?
Mateo: The past can be different things you can worry about what you could have done differently. So it can be like "I should have done this, I shouldn't have answered that, I should have done that," but at the same time you could feel thankful that you did that.
Me: Do you think sometimes even if we make mistakes we can be thankful for them?
Mateo: You can because maybe if your mistake can lead to something good.
Me: Give me an example because I think that's a really good point.
Mateo: So maybe if you mix two things together and it explodes, then that explosion you can learn from it. You can say, "Okay, we're making engines like this so eventually they'll explode so we should stop and try to fix the engines." I'm not saying that's happening but you can always thank yourself for making a mistake, because you can fix the mistake and make the world a better place.
Me: You don't beat yourself up?
Mateo: I do question myself, because I think that's healthy, but I do not beat myself [chuckles] up, no.
Me: Good. Do you know somebody who does? Without mentioning their name, necessarily, but you can. Do you know somebody who beats--
Mateo: Actually like physically or mentally?
Me: Both. I'm thinking mentally, but maybe you know someone who beats themselves up physically, because some people do.
Mateo: I'm actually reading a book right now, and there's this person playing quarterback. It's a football book, and they're not doing it for them. They're doing it for their father when he really doesn't want to. And when he makes a mistake, he knows his father is going to say, "What happened out there?" And he's beating himself up, because he doesn't want to make a mistake instead of telling his father, "Dad, I don't want to play. I don't want to do this."
Me: So you're learning from this book?
Mateo: Yeah.
Me: If you were going to give this kid advice for not being authentic. You know what I mean by authentic?
Mateo: Can you give me the definition of authentic
Me: Guess what authentic means? He's not being authentic. (What does that mean?)
Mateo: Probably, he's not being like true to himself.
Me: Absolutely. So he's not being true to himself by playing football when he really doesn't want to. He's doing it because he thinks that his father has this expectation which might not even be true. Maybe his father would accept him if he didn't play.
Me: What advice would you give to this kid?
Mateo: I would give advice that-- we have going on at school that says, "Don't be afraid be brave." So you have to stand up what you think. Otherwise, you can't let a kid do something to you that's not right. You have to stand up and say. "Dude don't do that."So you can say, "Dad I don't want to really play football." And that would be standing up for yourself.
Me: What do you envision yourself doing when-- we don't want to live in the future but sometimes we have aspirations.
Mateo: I would like to be an architect.
Me: An architect. Do you like to design houses?
Mateo: Yeah. That would be really cool.
Me: That's awesome. So you're going to design (houses) and your dad will sell them? I know he likes real estate.
Mateo: Yeah. Hopefully, he's not too old for that.
Me: (Laugh) Tell me about your best friend?
Mateo: My best friend, well I have multiple best friends. Do you want me to name, one because I have a couple.
Me: Tell me a friend that you admire. Tell me about that friend?
Mateo: Do I have to say the name?
Me: No, you can make up a name. Pete. Tell me about Pete?
Mateo: I like Pete because he's very brave and he is not afraid to do something.
Me:Does he make good choices when he does stuff?
Mateo: Yes. So he's not jumping off a cliff. But he would do something like - be brave and stand up for what he doesn't think. So if everyone was in classroom and he was in this math class and I was in class (too) and he would raise his hand and ask, "Why is that?" And everyone would say, "What do you think?" He says, "Because I don't know why!" So he stands up from what he thinks.
Me: He questions?
Mateo: And maybe he's right and people maybe he's wrong, but that's how we learn.
Me: Interesting. There is a woman whose kind of a famous speaker and one of the things that she said is, "Extra ordinary people are discerning, and they don't take what is accepted as fact. I thought that that was a very interesting thing. Just because someone says, "Oh, this," and everyone's like, "Oh, sure," I like that Pete says, "Why?" He wants to dig a little deeper.
I agree with you that that's a really great quality.
Me: If you were going to give an eight year old some advice what would you say to them?
Mateo: Be young as long as you can.
Me: Be young as long as you can. What happens when you get older? What do you lose?
Mateo: You do become more in charge of yourself, but you don't have as much of a guardian. That being parents.
Me: You don't think your parents are around you as much when you get older?
Mateo: Well, you can go your separate ways.
Me: Oh, when you say older, do you mean 10 or do you mean like 20?
Mateo: Yeah, once you hit college, then you're out, and you fighting for a job, and you're travelling across the world, your parents aren't coming with you.
Me: Oh, okay. They may, you never know.
Mateo: Yeah. You never know but I want to go to California by myself. I would buy a plane ticket, go to California, come back. I mean maybe my parents, they one time left Gavin at California for a week on purpose. It wasn't an accident. And then he drove home with Poppy and grandma and they went back to New York.
Me: Did you worry for him?
Mateo: I don't want to say worried, I want to say-- worried for him? No. I just, I didn't want anything bad to happen to him.
Me: So you were a tad worried?
Mateo: Yeah. I guess you could say worried.
Me: What's the worst characteristic someone could have?
Mateo: I don't like when people doubt their self. You're basically saying, "I don't even believe in myself," which I think like, "But why? You have a long and healthy life so you keep trying and it's never going to come back at you because you because you tried." No one will tell you, "You're bad because you got a 59% on your math test." So, it's kind of like, if you try, people won't down you for doing it.
Me: Believing in ourselves is very important.
Mateo: Yeah.
Me: What's your last piece of advice before we end?
Mateo: Like quote?
Me: Yeah.
Mateo: All right, I actually learn this from a YouTube video. Don't be a hacky sack, be a bouncy ball and bounce back [laughter].
Me: That's awesome. Thank you, Matteo.
Mateo: You're welcome.
Me: What grade are you in?
Mateo: Fifth grade.
Me: If you're to name three qualities a teacher has that's most important what would you say they are?
Mateo: That's tough. I would have to say keeping your students organized and not so they'd run around. I don't know which quality you would put that in now, maybe organization would be a quality. I would say selflessness because you have to worry about your students not just you, and I would also say forgiving.
Me: Tell me more about forgiving.
Mateo: Because if your student makes a mistake, you can't be on it for the whole year. You have to eventually let it go.
Me: What is the biggest challenge of kids your age?
Mateo: I would say not worrying so much about what you're going to have in the future.
Me: Tell me more about that.
Mateo: I mean like you don't need to worry about what's going to happen in the future when you should be focusing on the past. So if I was worried about a test in January, and it's only September, I shouldn't worry about that test yet, because that would be for another four months or so. So I'm trying to say, when the time comes, you can get it over with without worrying about it four months earlier, because it's just going to make it more stressful.
Me: Do you think that people live their life worrying about January when it's September?
Mateo: I think people predict what will happen in the future. People do worry, because they (think) about the future because you eventually are going to have the future it's not never going to come so it's hard not to worry about the future. And sometimes people even worry about what they should have done differently in that process.
Me: Do you think this is more a problem with kids or adults?
Mateo: I think no matter if you live in Asia or North America I think everybody worries about the future and the past.
Me: What do they worry about with the past?
Mateo: The past can be different things you can worry about what you could have done differently. So it can be like "I should have done this, I shouldn't have answered that, I should have done that," but at the same time you could feel thankful that you did that.
Me: Do you think sometimes even if we make mistakes we can be thankful for them?
Mateo: You can because maybe if your mistake can lead to something good.
Me: Give me an example because I think that's a really good point.
Mateo: So maybe if you mix two things together and it explodes, then that explosion you can learn from it. You can say, "Okay, we're making engines like this so eventually they'll explode so we should stop and try to fix the engines." I'm not saying that's happening but you can always thank yourself for making a mistake, because you can fix the mistake and make the world a better place.
Me: You don't beat yourself up?
Mateo: I do question myself, because I think that's healthy, but I do not beat myself [chuckles] up, no.
Me: Good. Do you know somebody who does? Without mentioning their name, necessarily, but you can. Do you know somebody who beats--
Mateo: Actually like physically or mentally?
Me: Both. I'm thinking mentally, but maybe you know someone who beats themselves up physically, because some people do.
Mateo: I'm actually reading a book right now, and there's this person playing quarterback. It's a football book, and they're not doing it for them. They're doing it for their father when he really doesn't want to. And when he makes a mistake, he knows his father is going to say, "What happened out there?" And he's beating himself up, because he doesn't want to make a mistake instead of telling his father, "Dad, I don't want to play. I don't want to do this."
Me: So you're learning from this book?
Mateo: Yeah.
Me: If you were going to give this kid advice for not being authentic. You know what I mean by authentic?
Mateo: Can you give me the definition of authentic
Me: Guess what authentic means? He's not being authentic. (What does that mean?)
Mateo: Probably, he's not being like true to himself.
Me: Absolutely. So he's not being true to himself by playing football when he really doesn't want to. He's doing it because he thinks that his father has this expectation which might not even be true. Maybe his father would accept him if he didn't play.
Me: What advice would you give to this kid?
Mateo: I would give advice that-- we have going on at school that says, "Don't be afraid be brave." So you have to stand up what you think. Otherwise, you can't let a kid do something to you that's not right. You have to stand up and say. "Dude don't do that."So you can say, "Dad I don't want to really play football." And that would be standing up for yourself.
Me: What do you envision yourself doing when-- we don't want to live in the future but sometimes we have aspirations.
Mateo: I would like to be an architect.
Me: An architect. Do you like to design houses?
Mateo: Yeah. That would be really cool.
Me: That's awesome. So you're going to design (houses) and your dad will sell them? I know he likes real estate.
Mateo: Yeah. Hopefully, he's not too old for that.
Me: (Laugh) Tell me about your best friend?
Mateo: My best friend, well I have multiple best friends. Do you want me to name, one because I have a couple.
Me: Tell me a friend that you admire. Tell me about that friend?
Mateo: Do I have to say the name?
Me: No, you can make up a name. Pete. Tell me about Pete?
Mateo: I like Pete because he's very brave and he is not afraid to do something.
Me:Does he make good choices when he does stuff?
Mateo: Yes. So he's not jumping off a cliff. But he would do something like - be brave and stand up for what he doesn't think. So if everyone was in classroom and he was in this math class and I was in class (too) and he would raise his hand and ask, "Why is that?" And everyone would say, "What do you think?" He says, "Because I don't know why!" So he stands up from what he thinks.
Me: He questions?
Mateo: And maybe he's right and people maybe he's wrong, but that's how we learn.
Me: Interesting. There is a woman whose kind of a famous speaker and one of the things that she said is, "Extra ordinary people are discerning, and they don't take what is accepted as fact. I thought that that was a very interesting thing. Just because someone says, "Oh, this," and everyone's like, "Oh, sure," I like that Pete says, "Why?" He wants to dig a little deeper.
I agree with you that that's a really great quality.
Me: If you were going to give an eight year old some advice what would you say to them?
Mateo: Be young as long as you can.
Me: Be young as long as you can. What happens when you get older? What do you lose?
Mateo: You do become more in charge of yourself, but you don't have as much of a guardian. That being parents.
Me: You don't think your parents are around you as much when you get older?
Mateo: Well, you can go your separate ways.
Me: Oh, when you say older, do you mean 10 or do you mean like 20?
Mateo: Yeah, once you hit college, then you're out, and you fighting for a job, and you're travelling across the world, your parents aren't coming with you.
Me: Oh, okay. They may, you never know.
Mateo: Yeah. You never know but I want to go to California by myself. I would buy a plane ticket, go to California, come back. I mean maybe my parents, they one time left Gavin at California for a week on purpose. It wasn't an accident. And then he drove home with Poppy and grandma and they went back to New York.
Me: Did you worry for him?
Mateo: I don't want to say worried, I want to say-- worried for him? No. I just, I didn't want anything bad to happen to him.
Me: So you were a tad worried?
Mateo: Yeah. I guess you could say worried.
Me: What's the worst characteristic someone could have?
Mateo: I don't like when people doubt their self. You're basically saying, "I don't even believe in myself," which I think like, "But why? You have a long and healthy life so you keep trying and it's never going to come back at you because you because you tried." No one will tell you, "You're bad because you got a 59% on your math test." So, it's kind of like, if you try, people won't down you for doing it.
Me: Believing in ourselves is very important.
Mateo: Yeah.
Me: What's your last piece of advice before we end?
Mateo: Like quote?
Me: Yeah.
Mateo: All right, I actually learn this from a YouTube video. Don't be a hacky sack, be a bouncy ball and bounce back [laughter].
Me: That's awesome. Thank you, Matteo.
Mateo: You're welcome.
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