Juice Cleanse turned into something different
October 8 Day 2 Pre-Juice
In preparation for a planned cleanse, I juiced at two meals and cut my coffee consumption to little over a cup. Dinner from Green Sage is shown above.
Earlier today I watched "What the Health" and last night saw for the first time Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. 'What the Health' is utterly disturbing on so many levels and has convinced me to move back towards a vegan diet again. The cruelty to animals, the environment and communities due to factory farmings is alarming and the gag laws that prevent exposing what is going on behind the scenes, absolutely frightening. Do we live in a free country or not? Where journalists can show what is happening and let the people decide? The answer is no. Strong lobbyist groups prevent us from knowing and seeing the truth and are vested in providing us with an erroneous front. The groups that are meant to protect us, the government , American Cancer Society, American Diabetic Association, American Heart Association work for the Industries not for the people.
The film is purely one sided though and there are a few things in the film that I take issue with, "sugar doesn't cause diabetes." From my perspective sugar is pro inflammatory and this contributes on almost every level to promoting a disease states. Too a vegan diet isn't the only way to be healthy and a gluten sourced one can be just as unhealthy. Finding the perfect diet is difficult and might look differently from one person to the next. BUT any diet that relies heavily on factor farmed, processed meats and dairy is a dangerous one. 'Let thy Food be Thy Medicine!'
I do think that humanely sourced animal foods in very small amounts (a serving a few times a month) can be quite healthy for many people and some people do well with this. The last few years I have gotten away from the vegan diet. I don't like to cook and my past vegan foods would include chips and a high content of gluten. I know that I will fall back into old patterns of not cooking for myself and eating junk on the fly if I don't look into some type of healthy GF/Vegan meal plan and hopefully one without too much of a carbon footprint. (I know, all the packaging!)
In preparation for a planned cleanse, I juiced at two meals and cut my coffee consumption to little over a cup. Dinner from Green Sage is shown above.
Earlier today I watched "What the Health" and last night saw for the first time Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. 'What the Health' is utterly disturbing on so many levels and has convinced me to move back towards a vegan diet again. The cruelty to animals, the environment and communities due to factory farmings is alarming and the gag laws that prevent exposing what is going on behind the scenes, absolutely frightening. Do we live in a free country or not? Where journalists can show what is happening and let the people decide? The answer is no. Strong lobbyist groups prevent us from knowing and seeing the truth and are vested in providing us with an erroneous front. The groups that are meant to protect us, the government , American Cancer Society, American Diabetic Association, American Heart Association work for the Industries not for the people.
The film is purely one sided though and there are a few things in the film that I take issue with, "sugar doesn't cause diabetes." From my perspective sugar is pro inflammatory and this contributes on almost every level to promoting a disease states. Too a vegan diet isn't the only way to be healthy and a gluten sourced one can be just as unhealthy. Finding the perfect diet is difficult and might look differently from one person to the next. BUT any diet that relies heavily on factor farmed, processed meats and dairy is a dangerous one. 'Let thy Food be Thy Medicine!'
I do think that humanely sourced animal foods in very small amounts (a serving a few times a month) can be quite healthy for many people and some people do well with this. The last few years I have gotten away from the vegan diet. I don't like to cook and my past vegan foods would include chips and a high content of gluten. I know that I will fall back into old patterns of not cooking for myself and eating junk on the fly if I don't look into some type of healthy GF/Vegan meal plan and hopefully one without too much of a carbon footprint. (I know, all the packaging!)
Day 3
Pre-Cleanse The group cleanse has been canceled! I can do it solo as an option but it was the group experience I was really looking for. Now what?
Day 4
Well I have decided not to do the cleanse since the Group Cleanse was canceled b/c of lack of participants.
Instead I have ordered wkly meals from FreshnLean and am going to try out their GF/Vegan b/l/d's and am thinking of getting rid of the extra packaging by offering free boxes on Craigslist.Of course the transportation (I think this company is based out of CA) and wrapped packages leaves its own footprint.
The juice cleanse idea and subsequent research on diet has led me to ponder where I am going and where the world is going with food/health/being humane/the environment. Not easy answers! I am looking forward to eating mostly vegan once again but this time with greater emphasis on the 'healthier plant based' version.
In the past, what convinced me to go vegan "plant based" was the documentary Forks over knives. I was getting my master's degree in Cleveland and went to see this documentary with my clinical preceptor, Rosanne. I distinctly remember watching this documentary and thinking wow! Why have we bought into this belief that dairy is good for us when the research doesn't support this claim at all (The China Study). That was back in 2009 and I essentially stopped eating animal products starting that night for four years. But over the last few years I have weaned slowly back into a more omnivorous diet until now.
Milk does a body good?
http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g6015
Day 5
The meals are on the way.
Day 6
I received the Freshnlean meals and they are timely; I was on the run today at lunch, stopped home briefly to throw one (black eyed peas and veggies) into the microwave and then ate the dinner one at 6p (cashew cream pasta w/veggies) when I got back from the start of the Southeast Women's conference that today's focus was on Methylation and the HPA Axis. In short, the sessions that I attended were about eating healthy and keeping stress levels down , essential components to be healthy.
I was very full after each meal and cannot believe that one on-line reviewer said the meals' aren't filling enough' because they are plenty filling for me! Nice to eat a cooked meal that is already prepared now that we are going into the fall with the warmer weather. I did eat chocolate after both meals and need to curb this. The meals are ENOUGH and I am sleepy from the chocolate overload.
The packaging wasn't too bad. I am hoping to start giving the boxes away rather than recycling them.
Day 7 I ate one of the cinnamon roll in the morning not realizing that both rolls are included in Breakfast--wow--ALOT of food. It was tasty and not too sweet. I didn't feel a sugar dump a few hours later. Lunch was at a food truck at the conference. I was mindful and had a strawberry banana soy milk smoothly (I hope it was organic soy!) and dal and rice. Snacked on banana chips and had a delicious lentil meal for dinner with herbal teas that I threw together at home (nettles, oats and red clover). I had so much energy in the middle of the night that I was wide awake at 2a. I got up ate the other cinnamon roll from breakfast and went back to sleep.
Day 8 I am loving learning about the herbs and wondering if it would be a good idea to go to herbal school?? I am pretty sure my husband will say, Oh, no...not more school!
Pre-Cleanse The group cleanse has been canceled! I can do it solo as an option but it was the group experience I was really looking for. Now what?
Day 4
Well I have decided not to do the cleanse since the Group Cleanse was canceled b/c of lack of participants.
Instead I have ordered wkly meals from FreshnLean and am going to try out their GF/Vegan b/l/d's and am thinking of getting rid of the extra packaging by offering free boxes on Craigslist.Of course the transportation (I think this company is based out of CA) and wrapped packages leaves its own footprint.
The juice cleanse idea and subsequent research on diet has led me to ponder where I am going and where the world is going with food/health/being humane/the environment. Not easy answers! I am looking forward to eating mostly vegan once again but this time with greater emphasis on the 'healthier plant based' version.
In the past, what convinced me to go vegan "plant based" was the documentary Forks over knives. I was getting my master's degree in Cleveland and went to see this documentary with my clinical preceptor, Rosanne. I distinctly remember watching this documentary and thinking wow! Why have we bought into this belief that dairy is good for us when the research doesn't support this claim at all (The China Study). That was back in 2009 and I essentially stopped eating animal products starting that night for four years. But over the last few years I have weaned slowly back into a more omnivorous diet until now.
Milk does a body good?
http://www.bmj.com/content/349/bmj.g6015
Day 5
The meals are on the way.
Day 6
I received the Freshnlean meals and they are timely; I was on the run today at lunch, stopped home briefly to throw one (black eyed peas and veggies) into the microwave and then ate the dinner one at 6p (cashew cream pasta w/veggies) when I got back from the start of the Southeast Women's conference that today's focus was on Methylation and the HPA Axis. In short, the sessions that I attended were about eating healthy and keeping stress levels down , essential components to be healthy.
I was very full after each meal and cannot believe that one on-line reviewer said the meals' aren't filling enough' because they are plenty filling for me! Nice to eat a cooked meal that is already prepared now that we are going into the fall with the warmer weather. I did eat chocolate after both meals and need to curb this. The meals are ENOUGH and I am sleepy from the chocolate overload.
The packaging wasn't too bad. I am hoping to start giving the boxes away rather than recycling them.
Day 7 I ate one of the cinnamon roll in the morning not realizing that both rolls are included in Breakfast--wow--ALOT of food. It was tasty and not too sweet. I didn't feel a sugar dump a few hours later. Lunch was at a food truck at the conference. I was mindful and had a strawberry banana soy milk smoothly (I hope it was organic soy!) and dal and rice. Snacked on banana chips and had a delicious lentil meal for dinner with herbal teas that I threw together at home (nettles, oats and red clover). I had so much energy in the middle of the night that I was wide awake at 2a. I got up ate the other cinnamon roll from breakfast and went back to sleep.
Day 8 I am loving learning about the herbs and wondering if it would be a good idea to go to herbal school?? I am pretty sure my husband will say, Oh, no...not more school!
Day 9 I had a dream last night about Chinese Herbs. I woke up and had trouble going back to sleep. Herbal school?? I have to admit the Freshnlean foods are tiring every day. I bought some dandelion greens and sautéed them this morning with garlic, pumpkin seeds and a few died cranberries. It was a delicious dish and this afternoon I OD'd on chocolate (hopefully the vegan kind). (The sage and coneflower (echinacea) shown in the second picture is from our garden).
Day 10 Yesterday had some stress with clients and I tend to notice that I am less mindful and eat more sugar when I am ramped up from my day. Today was that kind of day. The bud of thinking of going back to school is still cultivating. The idea is quietly germinating...It is just a matter of finding the time.
Day 24 (October 30) I just got back from Boston and went all off eating healthy but I did abstain from meat (had some cheese and gluten and lots of sugar and definitely was overeating). Why is eating healthy so hard while traveling?? I haven't eaten any meat since I started this except anchovies on a pizza one day. It hasn't been hard. I have said to myself that I can eat non vegan twice/month. The freshnlean meals are tiring but I do think they have proved healthy. I felt great up until this weekend when I went haywire. I can feel it today. My joints are stiff and I am cold. While in Boston I met Maura's friend and friend's parents. This little girl has Celiac Disease. Her mom said they determined this b/c she wasn't growing. No other sign but this. When she went GF she started to grow inches at a time. It makes me wonder how many people have undiagnosed Celiac disease. She also had cankersores. Well I am back home and am going to get back on the bandwagon again.
I decided today to go to herbal school. Hopefully there is room in the 2018 class. I sent in my deposit and application to the school after my interview. Some of it will be repetitious but that is ok. Spirit is for sure drawing me in this direction and I will not question just put one foot in front of the other and move forward with this. The messages around this are clear and not at all muddled as some messages tend to be.
Day 27 Tea this am: Linden, Lemongrass, Red Clover, and a touch of Lavender. Yum.
Day 29 Last night, I was reading in Plant Spirit Healing written by Pam Montgomery these words when I got into bed, “You want to be aware of plants that grow near you, follow you around (even when you move) or that suddenly appear. Plant that you need for your physical, emotional or spiritual healing will gravitate toward you.”
I got to thinking of sage and how I planted some but it has proliferated way beyond the little bundles planted—bunches of it growing everywhere. How CoreyPine (Director of the Herbal School) that I hope to go to had said, that he had trouble growing Sage and I marveled at even w/my lack of a green thumb how it has grown in front of my house. I must need it. I got out of bed to read what its medicinal value is and then remembered how I had written this to Eliot Cowan two years ago.
Written two years ago (on 8/14/15)
Dear Eliot,
It is odd that since I have picked up your book (Plant Spirit Medicine) herbs have “come to me” through thought and a dream state. The night I bought your book and went to bed two plants came through. One was Cayenne. I realized its medicinal value and thought how curious as we have pepper plants in our yard. I made salsa soon after reading this and my fingers have burned for days. This is the first time that this is happened. I guess it is a reminder of the power of the plant. The other herb that came through was black cohosh. I am approaching menopause but had no idea if it is a local herb as your book notes we should source from. I decided to read up about Black Cohosh and noticed that it is plentiful in Western North Carolina where I live! I have no doubt that it will come to me soon to start using.
Lastly I was drawn to a sage plant in front of my home. I went over mindlessly the other night and plucked a leaf. I just knew that this plant was calling to me to use. I have infused some in honey to make a tea someday. There is a connection with the faeries to this plant and this work. They would like for me to share their work with small children. I have downloaded a Faery Herb book series to share with my granddaughter when I see her next. I then got to thinking about my favorite herb Rosemary and how I can make a vinegar from it. I got the sense it is a shy tree. The tree quietly let me know that indeed it could be used. I asked it how I could exchange for its use and it said that I am wasteful of paper. I promised to cut down on this, no pun intended. I thanked the rosemary as I cut some spring to infuse for a vinaigrette which I placed near a quartz crystal.
A bit later in the am before work I decide to do this healing journeying that I do sometimes to get messages. With your book next to me I started to journey and the first thing that came through was an inferno fire. It was so intense I could not go near it. I lost interest and stepped back away from the journey. The heat too intense to get me much beyond the door connecting me to the other realm. A few minutes later though I picked up your book and read these words (page 49) Fire has become my primary tutor. Fire brings us into relationship and in relationship messages are exchanged.”
Pretty pretty wild!! I journey once again and this time was able to get further beyond the heat of the fire. It no longer frightened me. I was able to travel through desert land to a wellspring with water. There was a faerie perched there. She offered me a clover. When the journey was over I looked up red clover. It grows here in the Asheville area. It is also a good herb for menopause. I went out and bought some Red Clover Tea.
Liam my son said to me, You don’t really believe in Faeries do you? I told him that I thought they exist. His reply was, “and people trust you with their mental health?!” I got laughing and laughing. He looked on and said angrily, “I am not kidding!” I guess we each live in our own world. Our own reality…
After reflecting back to this notation written in letter and journal form two years ago, I am now drawn to working once again with Sage, for myself and others. And Rosemary always a favorite and sister plant to sage, is growing side by side in the front. These plants will be my friends and guides if willing to help me along this path to a new way of healing in my personal and clinical practice.
I am going to start by picking some sage and drying it to later use for smudging and tea and then will await direction on what else to use it for.
--" If you want to actually use a plant yourself, the spirit of the plant must come to you in your dreams. If the spirit of the plant tells you how to prepare it and what it will cure, you can use it. Otherwise it won't work for you."
Plant Spirit Medicine by Eliot Cowan
Day 32 (Nov 7) I have been making tea bags for friends and a few clients with safe concoctions nettles and such. They seem to appreciate the gesture and I wonder if the gesture alone has a medicinal force. My kitchen table is now lined with herbals that I bought at the Herbiary. A store in town that has the best selection. A store I frequented two years ago when I had that strange interaction with the girl who I 'read'.
I finished teaching a meditation series yesterday and really enjoyed it and it was so natural. It felt so easy! I am debating on doing another one or not. I just need to take one step at a time and move forward fearlessly and not think of the what ifs just the nows. It will all work out. Life will work out. It already has. I am drying sage from my garden around my house. The young woman at the herbiary recommended a different type of sage for smudging but I said no, I think I would like to smudge from the sage that lives around my home and she replied yes!. One leaf fell off a bundle today and I picked it up and lite it and said a pray as I wanded it around my kitchen, its embers lasted just long enough to complete the circle around. As I write this I reflect that none of this is new, I have done this before in another space place in time.
11/12/17 In Florida and delayed returning to AVL after a conference put forth by Great Plains Labs. They do non conventional testing looking at biomarkers for things such as yeast, bacteria, mold and environmental toxins. Some of these tests are even covered by a few insurer like Atena, Cigna, Medicare and Tricare. At least the Organic Acid Testing is covered. It’s scary what we are doing to our environment. How toxic we are and how we let a company like Monsanto control even how and what we study in research as they take over Universities in the midwest with buildings with their names on it. How products banned in Europe are sold here at hardware stores with names such as Weed and Feed instead of their true name, Agent Orange. How only 10% of chemicals used have been tested by the EPA and of those tested only on healthy white males. Not on children, pregnant women or the elderly. How plastics mimicks estrogen which is affecting our maleness--over the last 20 years sperm counts have dropped by 50% and girls as young as eight (or even younger are starting puberty.) The allostatic load getting heavier and heavier until someday we tip over and end up in the hospital, doctor's office or dead. Kind of scary how we are poisoning ourselves. As I speak this I think of my brother in law is lying in the hospital with a neurodegenerative disease that is crippling him.
When we paused today for lunch at the conference, I couldn’t wait to get outside into the sunshine and warm breeze where Bill was awaiting me . He picked up food at Wawa and we shared the delicious healthy lunch that GPL provided for us. Most of the participants though (after tsk tsk-ing about what we are doing to ourselves with the unhealthy state of our world) congregated at tables inside in the cold, air-conditioned moldy room. Except one man who came outside too. He looked to be from India. And I watched him, as did Bill as he look out at the lagoon our eyes followed his as we stared at a large Iguana and then two loud jet skis that blasted by. The man tired of watching laid down on the grass to relax into the sun as we opened our lunches.
Now I sit here at the airport trying to tune out the noise with my own kirtan music noise. I find that I am derisive as I look at all the snacks, fast foods for sale and the oversized bags that we carry. I think of all the waste and excess. I gently remind myself though to be humble. To be kind. To try not to judge. Believing that love can heal everything. Even this.
11/27/17 No Gluten but I did eat meat and dairy over Thanksgiving. So I give Thanksgiving. And I feel blessed to have had a peaceful holiday. Monday am. Drinking a combo of St. John's Wort, rose and red clover tea while listening to the Herbal Conference Tapes.
11/28/17 Pardon if this grosses--I got my OATs test back. The 'bacteria' in my gut looks good! There is some yeast issues, oxalate issues and mitochondrial issues that need addressing. Glad though that my gut flora (bacterial) looks good! I wonder how much of this is diet and how much of it is my connection to God and Spirit. We forget that this can factor in!! (I was in yoga yesterday and sneezed and no one said bless you and I wondered if it is no longer politically correct to say bless you and then I was going to say really loudly Bless me-])
11/29/17 Today (ate kind of crappy--english muffin, salad, toast and power bar)--cancelled FreshnLean meals a few weeks ago. Sent in my deposit today for the Herbal School-and committed to teaching another six week meditation series in 2018. Where will the time come from? From God. She/He will bless me with enough time, money and energy to get done what I need to get done. With school, teaching, family and jobs! Amen.
12/8/17 I just got back from a work trip with Bill to the beaches of San Diego where the food was bountiful and I ate bountifully. Too bountifully! Home again and trying to reset. I leave and then come home and repeatedly reset back into normalcy. So much life and fun and travel..but it is good to be back here in Asheville surrounded by herbal "teas", my little dog and the comfort of home and the familiar. As I watch the snow falling I eat a home brewed concoction of Gotu Kola (ADHD herb), Lemon Balm (Anxiolytic), Nettles,Elder Flower, Oats and Echinacea (sustenance and fortitude from dis-ease). I have smudge my house from my garden sage that was incredibly prolific a day ago but now is laying dominant under the snow. Mercury is retrograde and I wonder if I can make it to my office and how many of my afternoon clients will cancel today.
Because plants are firmly rooted in the soil and cannot run away from their enemies, they have long been considered passive in interactions with other organisms. This view has been falsified by several decades of research on plant-pathogen and plant-herbivore interactions. Marcel Dicke, "Plants in Action"
Because plants are firmly rooted in the soil and cannot run away from their enemies, they have long been considered passive in interactions with other organisms. This view has been falsified by several decades of research on plant-pathogen and plant-herbivore interactions. Marcel Dicke, "Plants in Action"
1/15/18 I have immersed myself with the start of the new year into a plant based diet with greater intensity. I have a found a few blogger/you tube sites that have become my mainstay for recipes and support. This one www.pickup limes.com is my favorite.
1/15/18 I just got back from DC spending the weekend with Bill and he was really sick with a cold (flu?). This will be my tea in the morning--fortification!
1/18/18 One microbe at a time I am working on changing my gut and I think it's working. Two steps forward and one back but still a net gain.. I go days where I eat plant-based healthy and feel amazing and then I slip up for whatever reason (usually triggered by some uncomfortable emotion, a hormone shift or travel) and eat something that isn't in my best interest or my gut's and then feel lousy, don't sleep as well. I then re-start. Again and again I re-start. And it is ok. It needs to be ok so it is. This is a message I need to give my clients. Just get up and start over. Don't look back with disgust but do look back at the patterns that need to be re-woven. Then set new ones. I can do it. You can do it. Use whatever inspires you to move forward. A video, song, being around a certain teacher, a cup of herbal tea, a group meeting. You don't have to do it alone. Use your tools. Grab the reigns and begin again...
1/19/18 Delicious NUTRICIOUS Brownies!
Yes, I still have a sweet tooth and when I am craving a dessert this will be my new go to.
I have friends coming over tomorrow night to celebrate their respective birthdays' and I thought this recipe might be a good compromise--sweet and yummy with a healthy spin!
(Black beans?!--yes, I have made different versions of this recipe over the years and I promise you even the most picky eater won't know how healthy they are or that they have black beans in them!)
This recipe has been taken from chocolatecoverdkatie.com
I 15-oz can of black beans—rinsed well and drained
2 Tablespoons of cocoa powder (I used cacao powder)
½ cup of GF quick oats or (ground in a coffee grinder) regular GF oats
1/3 cup of maple syrup
¼ cup of coconut or vegetable oil
2tsp vanilla extract
½ cup of chocolate chips
Preheat oven 350 degrees—in food process mix all incredients except chocolate chips—then stir in chips before pouring into a greased 8X8 pan (I used a round cake pan and that worked just fine). Cook for 15-18 minutes. Cool before cutting. You can wrap individually in PBA free wrap and freeze. (I cooked them for about 15 minutes and they seemed pretty firm to the touch--after cooling they were ready to cut.)
I plan on serving with vegan ice cream and offer toppings on the side—unsweetened coconut, nuts, and hemp seeds. I will let you know how it goes!
Plant Based Refrigerator!
1/19/18 Delicious NUTRICIOUS Brownies!
Yes, I still have a sweet tooth and when I am craving a dessert this will be my new go to.
I have friends coming over tomorrow night to celebrate their respective birthdays' and I thought this recipe might be a good compromise--sweet and yummy with a healthy spin!
(Black beans?!--yes, I have made different versions of this recipe over the years and I promise you even the most picky eater won't know how healthy they are or that they have black beans in them!)
This recipe has been taken from chocolatecoverdkatie.com
I 15-oz can of black beans—rinsed well and drained
2 Tablespoons of cocoa powder (I used cacao powder)
½ cup of GF quick oats or (ground in a coffee grinder) regular GF oats
1/3 cup of maple syrup
¼ cup of coconut or vegetable oil
2tsp vanilla extract
½ cup of chocolate chips
Preheat oven 350 degrees—in food process mix all incredients except chocolate chips—then stir in chips before pouring into a greased 8X8 pan (I used a round cake pan and that worked just fine). Cook for 15-18 minutes. Cool before cutting. You can wrap individually in PBA free wrap and freeze. (I cooked them for about 15 minutes and they seemed pretty firm to the touch--after cooling they were ready to cut.)
I plan on serving with vegan ice cream and offer toppings on the side—unsweetened coconut, nuts, and hemp seeds. I will let you know how it goes!
Plant Based Refrigerator!
1/21/18 One of the misconceptions of eating healthy is that it is expensive. It was a myth that I believed until now. The last few weeks I have actually spent a lot less money on groceries than previously. It certainly helps that I have avoided the usual convenient-based grab and go. When you take time for meal planning you can be frugal. Beans, lentils come in bulk and are cheap.
Gary Yourofsky said in his Best Speech You Will Ever Hear that poor countries have a vegetarian based diet b/c it is less costly than eating meat.
Last night's dinner with my friends went well. They liked the bean enchiladas topped with vegan cheese made from nutritional yeast and cashews (recipe at plantbasedcookingshow.com). The bean brownies with soy ice cream and chocolate sauce (made with a nut milk, dates and cacao) seemed a hit too.
Today as I write this I am having breakfast: fruit with wholemade granola, a little ground flax and yogurt that was simple to put together. Two cans of full fat canned coconut milk and four capsules of probiotics emptied of their content in with the milk placed in a dish together, stirred and then put into an (OFF) oven for 8-12 hours. Super healthy, fun and filling too. I have been pouring a little of the yogurt onto Oscar's dog food each morning so that he reap the benefits of a healthy gut too:-]
Here is Gary's provocative speech if you want to listen.
Gary Yourofsky said in his Best Speech You Will Ever Hear that poor countries have a vegetarian based diet b/c it is less costly than eating meat.
Last night's dinner with my friends went well. They liked the bean enchiladas topped with vegan cheese made from nutritional yeast and cashews (recipe at plantbasedcookingshow.com). The bean brownies with soy ice cream and chocolate sauce (made with a nut milk, dates and cacao) seemed a hit too.
Today as I write this I am having breakfast: fruit with wholemade granola, a little ground flax and yogurt that was simple to put together. Two cans of full fat canned coconut milk and four capsules of probiotics emptied of their content in with the milk placed in a dish together, stirred and then put into an (OFF) oven for 8-12 hours. Super healthy, fun and filling too. I have been pouring a little of the yogurt onto Oscar's dog food each morning so that he reap the benefits of a healthy gut too:-]
Here is Gary's provocative speech if you want to listen.
Tonight's dinner Thai Green Curry. Here's how to make...
Next week! Kris Carr from Crazy Sexy Cancer rocks. She rocks on even though she was diagnosed with fourth stage lung/liver cancer back in 2003. This recipe looks delicious and I am going to give it a try next week. The only thing I am going to sub out is pasta. Going to try to use spirals of the GF version.
1/28/18 I think one of the most important things about writing is being real. Not trying to present yourself so that you like yourself or others find you endearing but being raw. Raw but with the edges chiseled so at least it's palatable.
How’s it going so far with being healthy?
comme ci comme ca
I started out early, on New Year’s Eve totally motivated. Cooking multiple meals and snacks as I watched PickupLimes totally entranced with the recipes and Sadia’s way of presenting them. My husband was mostly neutral on what I put before him. I think he would have rather the cocktail hotdogs but he politely went with my enthusiasm. I had already at that time been vested in eating plant based but it wasn’t until finding Sadia’s channel that I started to really enjoy cooking again.
Since the 1st of the year, I am still deeply rooted in veganism (probably more so) and continue to cook food for myself and my grocery bill has gone down, but I've slipping in the last few weeks. I have veered back to eating more sugar. It started when my friends came for dinner last weekend and I made them black bean brownie sundaes.
Like any junkie my drug of choice slithered back into my life surreptitiously and embedded itself in my kitchen and heart unnoticed. It started in DC the first weekend there, the delicious cupcakes at Rise Bakery (everything GF) and the contest with Bill 'which carrot cake cupcake better theirs or the gluten free ones from the other bakery down the street?'
The chocolate around my mouth as I licked the bowl my friends laughing at me. Then ordering cookies and bread from FrancyFreeBakery.com two cookies at night. The low sugar gluten free cinnamon roll when out to breakfast with my son last weekend. Ordering a treat after a long week, french-fries and onion rings with the vegan burger on the gluten free bun which I finished off yesterday. All innocent enough, but my skin has started to itch and I am congested, clumsy (accidentally kicking a chair), irritable and tired and I know that the candida load has gone way up in my body. My mom said to me once that I was born with a yeast infection. Now the candida seems to be having an uninvited party in my gut.
The most upsetting thing though is the report from my eye doctor. My eyes have gotten worse and that big floater in front of my right eye now acts as a blind spot. Comparative to most 50 something women I think I am quite healthy but maybe it is a façade. Our eyesight crucial especially as we get older and mine sucks. I asked him innocently did he think that my eyesight is still getting worse because I haven’t gone through menopause yet? That the estrogen is still flowing throughout my body? He’s a clean cut younger man and he looked on a little uncomfortably as my stomach made noises from all the fruit I had eaten on the way over and the mention of female hormones. He answered no that he didn’t think it that. He didn’t ask or comment on my case (maybe scared to hear) but did say that those with a high sugar (diabetics) sometimes learn of their condition in his office. Diabetes?! Yikes…I don’t think I have that. I am normal weight and don’t I eat healthier than 95% of America? We are talking a few gluten free cookies here! No judgment, questions or comments by him. I was just quietly shuttled off to the woman who was to help me find new glasses. She asked with a bright smile and a southern twang, “Aren’t you a nurse?” I quietly said, yes (but was thinking, ‘yeah, what of it lady?’)
Anyway the proof is in the pudding, excuse the pun. Itching eyes, fatigue, irritability, getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom again. I need to do a sugar overhaul (again) and recognize that when I eliminated sugar and did a short candida cleanse it made the fungi (yuck) more virulent and now I really need to hunker down and start to ease those critters out for good! Get back on the band wagon. The question is when? I still have a few brownies left in the freezer and another box of fancyfree cookies remaining. And maybe finding a doctor to get my blood sugar tested should be on my agenda or at least a physical.
How’s it going so far with being healthy?
comme ci comme ca
I started out early, on New Year’s Eve totally motivated. Cooking multiple meals and snacks as I watched PickupLimes totally entranced with the recipes and Sadia’s way of presenting them. My husband was mostly neutral on what I put before him. I think he would have rather the cocktail hotdogs but he politely went with my enthusiasm. I had already at that time been vested in eating plant based but it wasn’t until finding Sadia’s channel that I started to really enjoy cooking again.
Since the 1st of the year, I am still deeply rooted in veganism (probably more so) and continue to cook food for myself and my grocery bill has gone down, but I've slipping in the last few weeks. I have veered back to eating more sugar. It started when my friends came for dinner last weekend and I made them black bean brownie sundaes.
Like any junkie my drug of choice slithered back into my life surreptitiously and embedded itself in my kitchen and heart unnoticed. It started in DC the first weekend there, the delicious cupcakes at Rise Bakery (everything GF) and the contest with Bill 'which carrot cake cupcake better theirs or the gluten free ones from the other bakery down the street?'
The chocolate around my mouth as I licked the bowl my friends laughing at me. Then ordering cookies and bread from FrancyFreeBakery.com two cookies at night. The low sugar gluten free cinnamon roll when out to breakfast with my son last weekend. Ordering a treat after a long week, french-fries and onion rings with the vegan burger on the gluten free bun which I finished off yesterday. All innocent enough, but my skin has started to itch and I am congested, clumsy (accidentally kicking a chair), irritable and tired and I know that the candida load has gone way up in my body. My mom said to me once that I was born with a yeast infection. Now the candida seems to be having an uninvited party in my gut.
The most upsetting thing though is the report from my eye doctor. My eyes have gotten worse and that big floater in front of my right eye now acts as a blind spot. Comparative to most 50 something women I think I am quite healthy but maybe it is a façade. Our eyesight crucial especially as we get older and mine sucks. I asked him innocently did he think that my eyesight is still getting worse because I haven’t gone through menopause yet? That the estrogen is still flowing throughout my body? He’s a clean cut younger man and he looked on a little uncomfortably as my stomach made noises from all the fruit I had eaten on the way over and the mention of female hormones. He answered no that he didn’t think it that. He didn’t ask or comment on my case (maybe scared to hear) but did say that those with a high sugar (diabetics) sometimes learn of their condition in his office. Diabetes?! Yikes…I don’t think I have that. I am normal weight and don’t I eat healthier than 95% of America? We are talking a few gluten free cookies here! No judgment, questions or comments by him. I was just quietly shuttled off to the woman who was to help me find new glasses. She asked with a bright smile and a southern twang, “Aren’t you a nurse?” I quietly said, yes (but was thinking, ‘yeah, what of it lady?’)
Anyway the proof is in the pudding, excuse the pun. Itching eyes, fatigue, irritability, getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom again. I need to do a sugar overhaul (again) and recognize that when I eliminated sugar and did a short candida cleanse it made the fungi (yuck) more virulent and now I really need to hunker down and start to ease those critters out for good! Get back on the band wagon. The question is when? I still have a few brownies left in the freezer and another box of fancyfree cookies remaining. And maybe finding a doctor to get my blood sugar tested should be on my agenda or at least a physical.
On a positive note:
In watching the youtube videos on Sadia's site one of the things that she has on there is minimalism. I love challenges/living small at least theoretically and it is freeing to purge! So her site led me to other sites and I have gotten organized!! Here is what I have accomplished this week.
Here too is a neat tiny house story that is inspirational!
In watching the youtube videos on Sadia's site one of the things that she has on there is minimalism. I love challenges/living small at least theoretically and it is freeing to purge! So her site led me to other sites and I have gotten organized!! Here is what I have accomplished this week.
Here too is a neat tiny house story that is inspirational!
1/28/19 I ate healthy all day--albeit one of these treats. They have some sweetness but are healthy too!
Peanut Butter Balls
Makes between 12-20 servings
(Adapted from a recipe I saw in Alternative Medicine Magazine May 2006)
1 cup of natural peanut butter (smooth or crunchy)
1/8- ¼ cup of Garden of Life (no stevia) Raw Organic Protein
¼ honey or maple syrup (you could try 4-6 dates instead)
2 Tablespoons of hemp seeds
2 Tablespoons of ground flaxseeds
¼ cup of chocolate chips
Mix above ingredients together and then
Roll in unsweetened coconut that has been toasted or in some other delicious nutritious coating
Refrigerate in airtight container
--------------------------------------------------
1/29/18 Yum goodness before work!
I made coconut yogurt last night and wanted it thicker so separate some of the water which I used today in this shake
Coconut water approx. 1 cup
Soy milk approx.½ cup
Cacao nibs handful
¾ of a frozen banana
garden of life (no stevia) protein power ¼ scoop full
Green superfood (no stevia added) one scoopful
Blended it and enjoyed!
---------------
2/2/18
Bill's home and this is what we had for breakfast!
Breakfast Parfait
Ingredients
- Coconut Yogurt (make day before)
- Empty two cans of coconut milk into a bowl—(drain off one can of liquid and use later in smoothie)
- Open four probiotic capsules into bowl (discard emptied capsules. I used Culturelle brand)
- Stir well and put into an OFF oven overnight
- Stir and refrigerate in the morning
2. Jam
One bag of frozen mixed berry fruit (or any brand)
2T of chia seeds
1T of lemon juice
1 tsp of maple syrup
- Put ingredients into a small (BPA free) container
- Leave on kitchen counter for a few hours
- Shake occasionally
- Defrost. Mash. Refrigerate
3. GF Granola
Wholemade or from your favorite farmer’s market
Put a dollop of yogurt in glass add portion of Jam—top with granola. Repeat ending with small amount of granola at top (try to keep the total portion size of granola to ¼ cup)
2/8/18 So much sadness around my Aunt's death. I leave tomorrow for the funeral. Eating healthy needs to continue to be a priority. Let thy food be thy medicine!
2/21/18 Headed to work with my lunch bag filled with purified water to make herbal tea, a smoothie--coconut water and milk, superfood mix, frozen berries and banana, an orange, plantain chips and three collards wrapped with veggies. (After work am going to do a hot power yoga class and for dinner millet w/stir fry veggies. YUM goodness!
2/26/18 It has been almost five months and the juice cleanse that turned vegan-esque continues. Got back from Naples with Bill. I love seafood but did abstain. I didn't eat as healthy but did eat a preponderance of veggies and fruit--I had a slice of GF pizza with cheese but thought about what Gary Y. says about cheese and couldn't finish the piece. One day I took a walk and spent most of it picking up white string that I am thinking comes from fishing boats. The ocean has sadly become a repository of debris. When will we 'wake up' on a tribal level? I hope it is before it is too late.
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-42947155
2/26/18 It has been almost five months and the juice cleanse that turned vegan-esque continues. Got back from Naples with Bill. I love seafood but did abstain. I didn't eat as healthy but did eat a preponderance of veggies and fruit--I had a slice of GF pizza with cheese but thought about what Gary Y. says about cheese and couldn't finish the piece. One day I took a walk and spent most of it picking up white string that I am thinking comes from fishing boats. The ocean has sadly become a repository of debris. When will we 'wake up' on a tribal level? I hope it is before it is too late.
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-42947155
2/28/18 What I ate today: whole made coconut yogurt with "jam" fruit/lemon and chia seeds and whole made granola. A banana/maca/superfood smoothie with a kale salad for lunch. Popcorn for a snack. Dinner was millet with beans/carrots/tomatoes and onions and two buddha balls for dessert. I received a bracelet made of plastic bags found in the ocean. Check out https://4ocean.com.
3/21/18 Spring is trying to spring forth in AVL but it did snow today so it isn't too springy yet. I have been eating pretty well especially given some of the stress I have been weathering. Lentils, fruit and veggies and a 'treat' for this weekend. Homemade vegan/GF mac & cheese. Yum! Herbal school starts next month!!
3/30/18 I have a client who is vegan and in some ways was inspirational in my segue back into eating plant based. I was meeting with her one day with my student and she was talking about her love of cows and how she works on a sanctuary farm. I mentioned in the office that I used to be vegan but gave it up because I was unhealthy in my eating habits (even though I knew how to eat healthy, I didn't). She just looked at me without comment but her stare spoke to me as did the cow in the truck with the number on her ear did as I drove by it recently. I remain mostly plant based-I have had a fish taco once and a few gluten free cheese pizzas but overall I remain over 95% vegan. Do I feel better? Some days when I eat healthy I feel amazing but on the days I don't I feel crappy especially my mood. The most surprising thing for me has been the improvement in my mood when I consistently eat healthy. Like the sun is brilliantly shining and I am glad to be alive. Another thing about conscious eating has been that I have shaved about 25% off of my grocery bill. My grocery bill is still way too high but I am getting there whittling it down.
Herbal school starts in a few weeks and I am sure this will be life changing in a positive way. I haven't been drinking as much herbal tea as I was but but I am going to have some Oats Top tea today. I have gained a few lbs in the last two weeks and am feeling very heavy which makes me uncomfortable. I have had a lot going on in my life especially personally (but with some professionally challenges too) but I am persevering. I bought a second bike (my other one is at HHI) and have been riding it daily and have been doing some hiking which has been therapeutic for me. Before I hop on my bike this morning I want to share today's breakfast of oatmeal, peanut butter a banana and gogi berries. Yum...I have gotten more into oatmeal and am really starting to enjoy it as a hearty breakfast.
Herbal school starts in a few weeks and I am sure this will be life changing in a positive way. I haven't been drinking as much herbal tea as I was but but I am going to have some Oats Top tea today. I have gained a few lbs in the last two weeks and am feeling very heavy which makes me uncomfortable. I have had a lot going on in my life especially personally (but with some professionally challenges too) but I am persevering. I bought a second bike (my other one is at HHI) and have been riding it daily and have been doing some hiking which has been therapeutic for me. Before I hop on my bike this morning I want to share today's breakfast of oatmeal, peanut butter a banana and gogi berries. Yum...I have gotten more into oatmeal and am really starting to enjoy it as a hearty breakfast.
4/15/18 Tomorrow starts herbal school. I will be in town for at least the next week and it feels good to be planted here for a bit in Asheville. Travel and stress makes me less likely to eat healthy. I am re-setting again. Today I am going to make meals ahead for the week: apple bars, cauliflower and potato and lentil wraps, curry thai soup with noodles and a mushroom stroganoff. I have been staying plant-based and GF. When I overeat and ingest sugary, junk foods I feel sluggish and tired. When I eat healthy (last few days in a row) I have much more energy and feel happier. Food really is medicine.
4/16/18 I had a delicious nutritious breakfast before the start of school today that included oatmeal, blueberries, banana and flax. I think the flax was the cause of the random rumblings in my gut this afternoon that seemed to attract the attention of the two people beside me. The day started out with fun activities in the circle--a bingo like board that we had to fill in with other's info--find a person with the same birthday month as you, someone with three pets, someone whose made wine and mead and the list and search goes on to also include finding someone who signed up in April. The one that I found was called late last week to let her know that a space had opened up. (Coincidentally, another lady decided not to join after our 'meet and greet' last week. This lady had been on the fence and didn't know if she wanted to pursue the program. I offered to pull a few cards for this woman and one Mystique to charge ahead into the dark and follow your own inner guidance. She interpreted as to listen to her gut and not move forward with joining the herbal training. The woman today who did join based her decision in part on guidance from a tarot deck which encouraged her to pursue. Neat that I got to witness this circle of events from a peripheral perspective for these two women.)
4/20/18 I finished week 1 of Herbal School and cannot wait for week 2. I feel like a kid who has found her way home to her roots. That which dwells deep within and feels right. We learned about tonics that are nourishing and herbals right for acute conditions and heroics to use only if. If only we could see meds as an only if…I have shared a few tea bags with my clients as I have given them their due scripts and they smile warmly at me as they turn the tea bags around in their hands curiously looking at them.
Comfrey found its way to me yesterday morning and as I read it uses and was befuddled with why this herb? Wounds, bones its use not my problem…but then Bill called from DC to tell me that he had had skin cancer removed from his face and they had to go deeper than they thought. Comfrey when it starts to heal over! I tell him enthusiastically, “Kris, you were meant to do this.” and I think YES!
Week 2 We learned the woes of how herbalism was almost completely stamped out by the AMA with the Flexner report in the early 20th century and how medicine in the way of pharmaceuticals took the place as the only valid treatment modality. One fellow student, Star who earlier had complained about the fluorescent lights in the classroom gazed over at me as I reflected can we think of history as just was, rather than good or bad? She replied that maybe medicine needed to take center stage to allow for the advancements in science and technology. Agreed.
The second day we head out on a plant walk in the rain and we work on plant identification using the key in our book. The rain pours down as our teacher Snail turns over each leaf with reflection and care with a long discussion on its use. Was the flower regular or irregular? Divided or lobed? Tea or tincture? Where does it grow? All the detailing seemed a bit overwhelming. I just want to walk and sit with the herbs. Commune. But my left brain will need to be along for this ride. At least for now.
4/16/18 I had a delicious nutritious breakfast before the start of school today that included oatmeal, blueberries, banana and flax. I think the flax was the cause of the random rumblings in my gut this afternoon that seemed to attract the attention of the two people beside me. The day started out with fun activities in the circle--a bingo like board that we had to fill in with other's info--find a person with the same birthday month as you, someone with three pets, someone whose made wine and mead and the list and search goes on to also include finding someone who signed up in April. The one that I found was called late last week to let her know that a space had opened up. (Coincidentally, another lady decided not to join after our 'meet and greet' last week. This lady had been on the fence and didn't know if she wanted to pursue the program. I offered to pull a few cards for this woman and one Mystique to charge ahead into the dark and follow your own inner guidance. She interpreted as to listen to her gut and not move forward with joining the herbal training. The woman today who did join based her decision in part on guidance from a tarot deck which encouraged her to pursue. Neat that I got to witness this circle of events from a peripheral perspective for these two women.)
4/20/18 I finished week 1 of Herbal School and cannot wait for week 2. I feel like a kid who has found her way home to her roots. That which dwells deep within and feels right. We learned about tonics that are nourishing and herbals right for acute conditions and heroics to use only if. If only we could see meds as an only if…I have shared a few tea bags with my clients as I have given them their due scripts and they smile warmly at me as they turn the tea bags around in their hands curiously looking at them.
Comfrey found its way to me yesterday morning and as I read it uses and was befuddled with why this herb? Wounds, bones its use not my problem…but then Bill called from DC to tell me that he had had skin cancer removed from his face and they had to go deeper than they thought. Comfrey when it starts to heal over! I tell him enthusiastically, “Kris, you were meant to do this.” and I think YES!
Week 2 We learned the woes of how herbalism was almost completely stamped out by the AMA with the Flexner report in the early 20th century and how medicine in the way of pharmaceuticals took the place as the only valid treatment modality. One fellow student, Star who earlier had complained about the fluorescent lights in the classroom gazed over at me as I reflected can we think of history as just was, rather than good or bad? She replied that maybe medicine needed to take center stage to allow for the advancements in science and technology. Agreed.
The second day we head out on a plant walk in the rain and we work on plant identification using the key in our book. The rain pours down as our teacher Snail turns over each leaf with reflection and care with a long discussion on its use. Was the flower regular or irregular? Divided or lobed? Tea or tincture? Where does it grow? All the detailing seemed a bit overwhelming. I just want to walk and sit with the herbs. Commune. But my left brain will need to be along for this ride. At least for now.
5/2/18 We review our homework assignment at the start of the week with Snail and he answered questions on what had and hadn’t gone well for us. I am happy that with Bill’s help in DC over the weekend (walking along the Potomac), I was able to identify garlic mustard confirmed by rubbing the leaf together between my fingers and smelling its distinct smell.
The second part of Monday was spent with two women discussing LBGTQ issues in healthcare and what types of clients we might get with these kinds of unique needs and the discrimination that can happen if one isn’t educated.
Tuesday was spent with Artemis with her singsong way of talking that has a reflective sound that draws you in when she is speaking. She discussed with us how to make a poultice, tincture, salve and then in the afternoon we go to the park and stand in circle around trees laced with poison ivy. I guess some call it sister ivy, a way in befriending this territorial plant.
We then pulled up some plantains and violets and the like and then back to the classroom to brew up a salve that we each get a jar of. Last night I concocted my own salve from the Comfrey in my yard. I second guessed myself on the amount of beeswax to put in (I know not vegan!) and may have added too much, but once done it felt good to rub on my sore feet. Today I am off to work as I try to bridge western medicine with folk 'wise women' care kind of like walking on a bridge into new and unknown territory.
The essence of Sister Ivy
https://onewillowapothecaries.com/product/sister-ivy-poison-ivy/
Not medical advice...
Last week we delved into phytochemistry and then on Tuesday plantwalked a small Ginseng and Goldenseal Farm with other goodies interspersed throughout. Things with names like Buckeye, Common Fleabane, Blue and Black Cohosh. I had to coax Snail out of the forest looking for his hari hari knife. The knife that he had accidentally left last year and was obsessively searching for with his tall frame bent down. Come on dude the fairies have it now. It’s a gift to them. Time to go!
Today Artemis is back and we make tinctures. Yesterday, Kit taught us first aid using wise women medicine methods with herbals. But the week beautifully began with Snail reading us this Mary Oliver poem:
A Dream of Trees
BY MARY OLIVER
There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company,
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.
There is a thing in me still dreams of trees.
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.
I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music of a mild day?
www.gratefulness.org
With a basement that flooded on Mother's Day, I can especially appreciate these words.
5/20/18 It's been raining and storming on and off this last week and its soothing somehow. The rain seems to slow everything down and call my attention to the power of the elements. I need for time to slow down a bit so that I can fit everything in that I need to fit in with home and family, school, work, friends. I am craving free time and space to just explore and play. It doesn't seem that I can carve enough out and I feel resistant to moving forward in the way that life is expecting. I pushed myself to go to yoga yesterday not for the fun of it but to tone and try to stay fit. Leaving the class drenched in sweat there was a mom and little boy next to my car. I admired the woman's tights and the boy pointed to his own pants. They had elephants everywhere. I asked him if he knew what elephants stand for? He pondered this question and answered, "Life?" Well yes, they stand for Life and overcoming obstacles. I jokingly added, like I am an obstacle right now standing in you way. He smiled and said, I have a lot of elephants on my pants. Yes, you do and thank you for sharing your elephants with me. Jai Ganesha a good reminder on a rainy then sunny then rainy kind of day. Obstacles are our teacher and they are a part of Life.
Today Artemis is back and we make tinctures. Yesterday, Kit taught us first aid using wise women medicine methods with herbals. But the week beautifully began with Snail reading us this Mary Oliver poem:
A Dream of Trees
BY MARY OLIVER
There is a thing in me that dreamed of trees,
A quiet house, some green and modest acres
A little way from every troubling town,
A little way from factories, schools, laments.
I would have time, I thought, and time to spare,
With only streams and birds for company,
To build out of my life a few wild stanzas.
And then it came to me, that so was death,
A little way away from everywhere.
There is a thing in me still dreams of trees.
But let it go. Homesick for moderation,
Half the world’s artists shrink or fall away.
If any find solution, let him tell it.
Meanwhile I bend my heart toward lamentation
Where, as the times implore our true involvement,
The blades of every crisis point the way.
I would it were not so, but so it is.
Who ever made music of a mild day?
www.gratefulness.org
With a basement that flooded on Mother's Day, I can especially appreciate these words.
5/20/18 It's been raining and storming on and off this last week and its soothing somehow. The rain seems to slow everything down and call my attention to the power of the elements. I need for time to slow down a bit so that I can fit everything in that I need to fit in with home and family, school, work, friends. I am craving free time and space to just explore and play. It doesn't seem that I can carve enough out and I feel resistant to moving forward in the way that life is expecting. I pushed myself to go to yoga yesterday not for the fun of it but to tone and try to stay fit. Leaving the class drenched in sweat there was a mom and little boy next to my car. I admired the woman's tights and the boy pointed to his own pants. They had elephants everywhere. I asked him if he knew what elephants stand for? He pondered this question and answered, "Life?" Well yes, they stand for Life and overcoming obstacles. I jokingly added, like I am an obstacle right now standing in you way. He smiled and said, I have a lot of elephants on my pants. Yes, you do and thank you for sharing your elephants with me. Jai Ganesha a good reminder on a rainy then sunny then rainy kind of day. Obstacles are our teacher and they are a part of Life.
6/3/18 I am sitting outside on my back deck with the gentle coolish breeze making it so that I need to darn a sweater. The birds are noisy and I remember learning last week on the field trip that the birds sing in the morning for no other reason but the sound. Their lyrics have no set purpose other than to bring joy to nature. The sun is slightly covered by a cloud but has a comfortable glow. We have had so much rain this year. The clouds drenched and then overflowing with water making everything sodden and lush. I wonder of late How can it keep on raining without end? Our first week-long foray to the forest (Joyce Kilmer) was so. We were water logged for three days straight, unless you count the hit or miss blue skies that only surfaced long enough to tease us into thinking it was over. So waterlogged that all of our belongings were drenched but the classes still went on and on. Jackfruit with his guitar that he would bring out now and then wasn't enough to brighten our moods for long. By the end there was a slight feeling of despair. I got that anxious antsy feeling that I get I have to go! And so I did, leaving a 1/2 day early with Owl who rode with me. She took a backseat to making the decision to leave having an easygoing nature about her. Something I wasn't born with. Snail so different from me could barely understand my impetuous nature and with more than a hint of annoyance watched us leave.
There was one day though that was special. It was the day that it rained the longest and hardest. The day we went into the Park to see the trees. The hemlocks that are dying from a non native pest but are now graced with the new life of Reichi growing out the side of their stumps. The tulip populars that stand tall and erect a reminder that we need to engage our posture to stand proud. Snail and Jackfruit lead us through the entrance where there was a poem that Fairygirl took a picture of and later read to us as we listened to her melodious voice barely heard over the falling drops.
Jackfruit gave us an hour to spend and walk around and reflect as we meandered through the lush forest and he told us to just observe and feel in silence. I had my umbrella and at one point I found a tree that I sat under with the umbrella covering me. I felt the cool earth on my bottom and the support of the tree at my back with the umbrella sheltering me and it was the best of both worlds being protected from the elements but also among them. Tears of grief for the changing cycles of life within the forest, within humanity and other worldly beings streamed down my face intermingling with the abundant water that was flowing off the trees and down from the sky. The hour came to a perfect end as we meet up at the U shaped trees naturally huddling in a circle as Jackfruit serenaded us back with his beautiful voice.
We processed what we had experienced during that hour and a common theme of redemption was shared. How life through its painful past can be necessary to allow us to get to where we are today and how things can always go one of two ways. Paul and Greta's stories were poignant enough that I got crying again and it reminded me of all the sad stories I have heard in my line of work. As I soundlessly started to cry I felt Jackfruit's eyes on me as he scanned the group.I felt exposed for my vulnerabilities.
We later made our way out in two groups lead in different directions by our leaders each to end in the same place at the entrance. Fairygirl, Paul and I in Snail's group. We watched the two of them climb through thickets over stumps to get a few prized mushrooms, Then we observed a baby snake sunning itself in the brief light that came through just long enough for us to make our way to our cars.
Trees
BY JOYCE KILMER
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
https://foxsongs.bandcamp.com/releases
There was one day though that was special. It was the day that it rained the longest and hardest. The day we went into the Park to see the trees. The hemlocks that are dying from a non native pest but are now graced with the new life of Reichi growing out the side of their stumps. The tulip populars that stand tall and erect a reminder that we need to engage our posture to stand proud. Snail and Jackfruit lead us through the entrance where there was a poem that Fairygirl took a picture of and later read to us as we listened to her melodious voice barely heard over the falling drops.
Jackfruit gave us an hour to spend and walk around and reflect as we meandered through the lush forest and he told us to just observe and feel in silence. I had my umbrella and at one point I found a tree that I sat under with the umbrella covering me. I felt the cool earth on my bottom and the support of the tree at my back with the umbrella sheltering me and it was the best of both worlds being protected from the elements but also among them. Tears of grief for the changing cycles of life within the forest, within humanity and other worldly beings streamed down my face intermingling with the abundant water that was flowing off the trees and down from the sky. The hour came to a perfect end as we meet up at the U shaped trees naturally huddling in a circle as Jackfruit serenaded us back with his beautiful voice.
We processed what we had experienced during that hour and a common theme of redemption was shared. How life through its painful past can be necessary to allow us to get to where we are today and how things can always go one of two ways. Paul and Greta's stories were poignant enough that I got crying again and it reminded me of all the sad stories I have heard in my line of work. As I soundlessly started to cry I felt Jackfruit's eyes on me as he scanned the group.I felt exposed for my vulnerabilities.
We later made our way out in two groups lead in different directions by our leaders each to end in the same place at the entrance. Fairygirl, Paul and I in Snail's group. We watched the two of them climb through thickets over stumps to get a few prized mushrooms, Then we observed a baby snake sunning itself in the brief light that came through just long enough for us to make our way to our cars.
Trees
BY JOYCE KILMER
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
https://foxsongs.bandcamp.com/releases
Josephina who goes by ‘phina taught us yesterday about cells. Did everything right, used different modes of learning and talked about which style we might like best (for me intra/interpersonal and linguistic styles). She showed up enthusiastic, animated and kind. She tried to be interesting and would have been if we all weren’t so tired from the field trip. It was like we had all taken a melatonin and were getting ready to sleep but it wasn’t her! I felt bad as I know her from Our Teacher’s yoga class and she’s lovely. I wanted to text her and tell her what a great job she did but I have been feeling like I am in this quagmire of inertia. Instead of texting her after class I went into this deep sleep and slept through the night. I had all sorts of weird dreams but woke up rested. Jackfruit taught us about Chinese Medicine the following day. We learned about deficiencies/excesses/yin/yang/cold/hot. I am deficient/damp/ full of excesses and yin. They don’t necessarily go together but that's how I am feeling.
6/26/18 I'd like to say I am enjoying school or that it comes easily. The teachers lecture and the words pass through my brain and slip out of me and are left on the classroom chair as I leave. I don't seem to be holding what a bract is and how to describe the Laminaceae family or even the western medicine anatomy of what flows where, even though all review for me. I have a hard time repeating it. With effort I can hold the knowledge but on a deep level, it doesn't interest me and is not what I find important. Some of it though takes hold in my left brain, which CYP enzymatic pathway relevant to milk thistle. Stuff that I will need for my job. Otherwise, it is the spaces in the classroom that I find important. The reflection of my interaction with others and the missteps that I make. The tincturing that I have done after class and the herbs that I have sampled. How Chinese Medicine relevant to my own body and how the Chinese herbs taste as I boil them down and then mix with molasses. These are the things that I will remember. Such is school. The herbs are coaxing me on. I need to complete this even though my urge is to walk away from it all.
7/1/18 A big test on Tuesday and I am studying and trying to retain. During breaks, I make tinctures and admire the landscaping that was just done in my yard and I sweat that some of the weeds have been removed by the landscapers. Where did they go? I cut as much ahead of time and tinctured milk thistle. The marshmallow plant I admire that is sitting in the kitchen and I have tinctured several other things like schizandra, nettles and anise. The comfrey has made a home in my composter and I reflect on these words from class, "It is no measure of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Krishnamutri
7/4/18 A break from class. Time to recharge. To find the yin that has been missing this year. Glad I studied for the test and glad it's behind me. Even though I am on vacation here at HHI my mind drifts to what will I do my A&P Presentation on? Maybe how to re-set and get back into the parasympathetic nervous system/rest and digest.
7/8/18 Jenny a fellow student also a nurse asked me why I am enrolled in the program. I gave it a moments-thought and replied the plants lead to this. Through my dreams. Sort of like, why Asheville? No rational answer.
I had thought through dreams that I would engage with the herbs through books that I would read to my granddaughter as this was a message that came to me when lucid dreaming, “I was meant to help children.” But in hindsight, I now see that it was to learn herbal medicine so that other options might be made available to the kids that I serve rather than just giving them prescription medication. The herbs have made themselves known to me through the cracks in my thoughts. Lemon balm, burdock, and comfrey to name just a few. Sage has lead the way as it proliferates in unstoppable ways throughout my garden.
I am listening to the book Braiding Sweetgrass and I can so appreciate and relate to the author's story even though I am not a Native American. I have traversed this experience before. This is something I have done in another time and space. The words aren’t familiar but the feelings are. They are lodged deep within me.
7/9/18 I feel trepidation of going back to my busy life as I sit here on vacation in HHI listening to the bird's chirps and the cicadas making their said noise. I had a dream last night that I didn't go on the upcoming Pisgah Field trip. My fellow classmates told me all about it in the dream. More sun than the other one, but still some challenges. Jackfruit was in the dream and asked what I thought of the trip. I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or if it had gone unnoticed that I wasn't there. The dream morphed into other stuff. A house and people that I didn't know. It became a suspenseful intrigue dream with details I cannot recall. I start at a new office when I get back from vacation and the furniture won't be in in time for my busy lineup on Thursday. Oh well... for now I will listen to the birds and walk the beach and try to stay focused amidst what is and not on what will be that might not occur.
7/8/18 Jenny a fellow student also a nurse asked me why I am enrolled in the program. I gave it a moments-thought and replied the plants lead to this. Through my dreams. Sort of like, why Asheville? No rational answer.
I had thought through dreams that I would engage with the herbs through books that I would read to my granddaughter as this was a message that came to me when lucid dreaming, “I was meant to help children.” But in hindsight, I now see that it was to learn herbal medicine so that other options might be made available to the kids that I serve rather than just giving them prescription medication. The herbs have made themselves known to me through the cracks in my thoughts. Lemon balm, burdock, and comfrey to name just a few. Sage has lead the way as it proliferates in unstoppable ways throughout my garden.
I am listening to the book Braiding Sweetgrass and I can so appreciate and relate to the author's story even though I am not a Native American. I have traversed this experience before. This is something I have done in another time and space. The words aren’t familiar but the feelings are. They are lodged deep within me.
7/9/18 I feel trepidation of going back to my busy life as I sit here on vacation in HHI listening to the bird's chirps and the cicadas making their said noise. I had a dream last night that I didn't go on the upcoming Pisgah Field trip. My fellow classmates told me all about it in the dream. More sun than the other one, but still some challenges. Jackfruit was in the dream and asked what I thought of the trip. I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or if it had gone unnoticed that I wasn't there. The dream morphed into other stuff. A house and people that I didn't know. It became a suspenseful intrigue dream with details I cannot recall. I start at a new office when I get back from vacation and the furniture won't be in in time for my busy lineup on Thursday. Oh well... for now I will listen to the birds and walk the beach and try to stay focused amidst what is and not on what will be that might not occur.
7/16/18 It has been a wonderful break from school. I have been able to focus on vacation, an office move, work and free time in which I have meditated and/or have done yoga each day. I made some tinctures, Schizandra, Nettles, Milk Thistle from my garden and sweet Anise from the spices that I have. I have alphabetized the tinctures and have been randomly grabbing one or two as I walk by them, popping their sweet, savory or sour elixirs into my mouth. Today I start back and am hopeful that I can take it in bite by bite rather than get overwhelmed by a big chew of Herbalism. That Spirit will allow me to still have space each day for some repose and rest. Between now and the end of the year I have a dozen trips in the works that will be coming up and my client load is high. I will get through everything. I am confident that I have what it takes to not only do life but to also be in it.
I had two other dreams on break, one was about student Michele who had a tincture business in the dream and I was hurt and annoyed that she didn't share this with the group. (I will have to ask her today if this is true? If she has a side business that we don't know about.) The other dream was about Snail. He got incredibly mad, in the dream at Mike one of our teachers. I looked at the schedule and we are due to spend some time with Mike soon. I wonder if Snail will get angry at him when we are together. I wonder if my dreams are just silliness or if they mark some type of truth. I told Snail and Michele about my dream. Snail laughed and said that he rarely gets made and maybe it was my Jungian stuff but Michele said that she does have a tincture business. Hmmm...
(When we were with Mike he was the one who got unreasonably mad at Paul!)
7/18/18 For whatever reason yesterday, while meditating I said a Hail Mary calling in divine protection before going to Joe Hollis’s place on our field trip to Mountain Gardens. While there, I had to reassure myself that I wouldn’t fall and get hurt. I told myself that I was being silly worrying and that I could bring undue stress just by my thoughts.
I knew that rain wouldn’t be too much of a problem and it hardly was but did have the sense that I would see a snake. I was thinking it would be a rattlesnake on his property. A friend and I had met last Sunday and after yoga when sitting outside, she had told me that while hiking recently she had seen a rattlesnake. Snakes were on my mind. I didn’t see it on land though it was in the water.
A few of us jaunted out to the river watering hole after class. The water was cold and mostly clear. It was so refreshing to be swimming about it its depths as I glanced over to the rocks where my peers were sitting after exiting from their quick dip. I sensed it first and then reassured myself just a stick as I plucked one out of the water before barely turning as it came at me. Its head rutting up with its white open mouth less than a foot away. I didn’t see teeth or fangs, later learning that they retract their teeth. At the time I didn’t realize that opening its white mouth is the telltale sign of a cottonmouth. They want to announce their presence.
I screamed and thrashed away as fast as I could but it seemed to follow me according to the women who witnessed this. That cottonmouth coming after me before moving in another direction down a hole in the ground. A sign of healing, transformation or a talisman of another sort. Hard to know right now. All and all an informative trip. I learned about herbs both Chinese and America, listened to Jackfruit and his melodies, frolicked with the other students on land and water. Then came face to face with my own fears and mortality. I am learning alot in herbal school..
I had two other dreams on break, one was about student Michele who had a tincture business in the dream and I was hurt and annoyed that she didn't share this with the group. (I will have to ask her today if this is true? If she has a side business that we don't know about.) The other dream was about Snail. He got incredibly mad, in the dream at Mike one of our teachers. I looked at the schedule and we are due to spend some time with Mike soon. I wonder if Snail will get angry at him when we are together. I wonder if my dreams are just silliness or if they mark some type of truth. I told Snail and Michele about my dream. Snail laughed and said that he rarely gets made and maybe it was my Jungian stuff but Michele said that she does have a tincture business. Hmmm...
(When we were with Mike he was the one who got unreasonably mad at Paul!)
7/18/18 For whatever reason yesterday, while meditating I said a Hail Mary calling in divine protection before going to Joe Hollis’s place on our field trip to Mountain Gardens. While there, I had to reassure myself that I wouldn’t fall and get hurt. I told myself that I was being silly worrying and that I could bring undue stress just by my thoughts.
I knew that rain wouldn’t be too much of a problem and it hardly was but did have the sense that I would see a snake. I was thinking it would be a rattlesnake on his property. A friend and I had met last Sunday and after yoga when sitting outside, she had told me that while hiking recently she had seen a rattlesnake. Snakes were on my mind. I didn’t see it on land though it was in the water.
A few of us jaunted out to the river watering hole after class. The water was cold and mostly clear. It was so refreshing to be swimming about it its depths as I glanced over to the rocks where my peers were sitting after exiting from their quick dip. I sensed it first and then reassured myself just a stick as I plucked one out of the water before barely turning as it came at me. Its head rutting up with its white open mouth less than a foot away. I didn’t see teeth or fangs, later learning that they retract their teeth. At the time I didn’t realize that opening its white mouth is the telltale sign of a cottonmouth. They want to announce their presence.
I screamed and thrashed away as fast as I could but it seemed to follow me according to the women who witnessed this. That cottonmouth coming after me before moving in another direction down a hole in the ground. A sign of healing, transformation or a talisman of another sort. Hard to know right now. All and all an informative trip. I learned about herbs both Chinese and America, listened to Jackfruit and his melodies, frolicked with the other students on land and water. Then came face to face with my own fears and mortality. I am learning alot in herbal school..
7/24/18 We went to Catawba Falls and learned about trees. There was a man from England named Robin who was with our teachers, Snail and Mike. He told us the lore of the Yew Tree. How it was a Druid tree but the Christians took their own credit for it. A tree of tranformation and ressurection. A tree that has been found to line graveyards. How the fruit is so sweet but the seed and needles poisonous with less than 15 fatal if ingested. A trickster tree? How aprope this week of the lunar eclipse. With its hard endings, one that spans 120 years of karma according to one astrologer. I found the piney needles fascinating as I turned them over in my hand. I went to take a picture, but thought better if it. The tree reminds me of Sister Ivy. Demanding its own kind of respect.
The other teacher Mike told his own story not to be outdone by Robin's. A story of the Princess Tree that originally grew in China. It is planted when a young girl is born. By the time she has aged up and is ready to marry, its heart shaped opposite leaves and branches are so big that it provides for her wedding dowery. Its wood something priceless and special.
A few student saw a copperhead snake today, considered a sign of a Druid in Ireland. I may have been the only one in the group who went wading in the cold crisp flowing water that came down from the spring-feed water falls. I felt this connection with Archangel Michael and Mother Mary as I found a walking stick that helped me down from rocks leading to a big pooled area. For the first time I understood the true meaning of a baptism. It felt invigorating and special to sit in the cold water as it lapped around me helping to release what I no longer want to hold. A ritual of sorts. Later as I glanced over the forest land, I could feel the faeries there. I pointed this out to my peers who absently listened as they diligently were taking notes on what tree did what. In the car ride home the song Faery HeartMagic played. I hadn't heard that song in years but it popped up on my playlist today. A sweet confirmation from Faery land that we indeed did connect amongst the trees.
Before I left I commented to Robin and Mike that my dharma in life is to span the left and right brained people together. Kind of like bridging the Druids and Christians.
The story of the Princess Tree
fromhttps://www.thevintagenews.com/2017/03/19/paulownia-the-princess-tree/
The other teacher Mike told his own story not to be outdone by Robin's. A story of the Princess Tree that originally grew in China. It is planted when a young girl is born. By the time she has aged up and is ready to marry, its heart shaped opposite leaves and branches are so big that it provides for her wedding dowery. Its wood something priceless and special.
A few student saw a copperhead snake today, considered a sign of a Druid in Ireland. I may have been the only one in the group who went wading in the cold crisp flowing water that came down from the spring-feed water falls. I felt this connection with Archangel Michael and Mother Mary as I found a walking stick that helped me down from rocks leading to a big pooled area. For the first time I understood the true meaning of a baptism. It felt invigorating and special to sit in the cold water as it lapped around me helping to release what I no longer want to hold. A ritual of sorts. Later as I glanced over the forest land, I could feel the faeries there. I pointed this out to my peers who absently listened as they diligently were taking notes on what tree did what. In the car ride home the song Faery HeartMagic played. I hadn't heard that song in years but it popped up on my playlist today. A sweet confirmation from Faery land that we indeed did connect amongst the trees.
Before I left I commented to Robin and Mike that my dharma in life is to span the left and right brained people together. Kind of like bridging the Druids and Christians.
The story of the Princess Tree
fromhttps://www.thevintagenews.com/2017/03/19/paulownia-the-princess-tree/
7/31/18 We meet with Lila today to learn about flower essence and plant medicine. Our group, all women by accident or design I am not sure. I just know that we sat in her old parlor that is housed in an old industrial-like building with hardwoods, and scalloped furniture. With lots of feminine touches down to the circle we made around her as we looked on at her soft features, quiet tone and sweeping skirt. She told us that our job was to rest and be in stillness as she introduced us to her medicine. She reminds us that her town, and the mountains that we are now living in are powerful and they draw you in. They require something of you, she says and we know this to be true. Part of the ecology of the mountains has an effect on us just by being here. She tells us to, "Watch what plants are showing up around you." and "All healing happens in relationship." And that rituals are important. Something similar to what I had said to Owl and Jenny as we drove over today religious relics are imbued with a certain energy that is powerful by the intention that has been put into them by so many over time.
She patiently listened to our names, and our preferred pronoun and asked each of us which plant we want to work with today. Sage came to me. The plant that had coaxed me to the school and announced itself for the first time in 2015. She then took us through a meditation with our plant by our side. I was instantly drawn in by a female, androgynous presence. I started to cry as she walked me down a long hall as I was taken into a beautiful garden. A garden of plants. and flowers. She seemed so excited to finally be able to greet me again. The last time we spoke I was told that she would help me to help children. I also saw the word TEACH in bold letters. A wolf came through and he looked a fable character, with big teeth and fangs. I wonder if my teaching will be through storytelling(?)
Then I saw my grandfather. So familiar even though I didn't know him long when he was alive. He also was happy to see me and expressed words of encouragement. At the end of the plant medicine journey, I was pushed back and returned hard into my body. It was a disorienting feeling. One that made me so sleepy and gave me a dull headache. There were many questions that I had afterwards and I felt that my peers felt the same from their own experiences. One woman asked the meaning of a Shaman and Leila defined it as " a person who sees in the dark." In answer to my questions, she said that in Shamanic terms you can journey to one of three doorways. The lower realm of souls/animals and plants. The middle one that is right here on the physical plane and the upper one is where Gods, Goddesses and the "Shiny ones" dwell. Defined as "those who have passed on into the light." She then reminded us that plants will come to us in our dreams and to remember them before we get up when we are still in that dream/wake state called, "a hypnagogic state".
We had lots of breaks and ample time for lunch. We went into the garden and frolicked with the butterfly, bees and plants. It was decided by a blindfolded vote that St. John's (Joan's) Wort would be our class flower essence . I got crying out there again and had to blow my nose on a stray piece of motherwort. My tears became part of the altar as Tiffany added it to the mix right before we walked away.
I was somewhat disappointed by the choice of SJW as I am not fond of the tincture, but the plant enthusiastically reassured me that it will be different than the tincture and that she will work with me to help children. That the essence of the class's energy would forever be in this plant's magic for me to use when needed. We were told that there really aren't any rules with flower essence except three. Our light filled intentions, some water and the plant. Simply that. She emphasized to us that our being was more important than our doing. All the feminine things I have been waiting to hear since the start of school.
After our last break of the day, we circled about to write up what we want to change, undo in our primordial, programmed recording within our own ancestral genetic encoding. I wrote to be able to manifest my true potential. To feel full by life and to leave no stone unturned.
She patiently listened to our names, and our preferred pronoun and asked each of us which plant we want to work with today. Sage came to me. The plant that had coaxed me to the school and announced itself for the first time in 2015. She then took us through a meditation with our plant by our side. I was instantly drawn in by a female, androgynous presence. I started to cry as she walked me down a long hall as I was taken into a beautiful garden. A garden of plants. and flowers. She seemed so excited to finally be able to greet me again. The last time we spoke I was told that she would help me to help children. I also saw the word TEACH in bold letters. A wolf came through and he looked a fable character, with big teeth and fangs. I wonder if my teaching will be through storytelling(?)
Then I saw my grandfather. So familiar even though I didn't know him long when he was alive. He also was happy to see me and expressed words of encouragement. At the end of the plant medicine journey, I was pushed back and returned hard into my body. It was a disorienting feeling. One that made me so sleepy and gave me a dull headache. There were many questions that I had afterwards and I felt that my peers felt the same from their own experiences. One woman asked the meaning of a Shaman and Leila defined it as " a person who sees in the dark." In answer to my questions, she said that in Shamanic terms you can journey to one of three doorways. The lower realm of souls/animals and plants. The middle one that is right here on the physical plane and the upper one is where Gods, Goddesses and the "Shiny ones" dwell. Defined as "those who have passed on into the light." She then reminded us that plants will come to us in our dreams and to remember them before we get up when we are still in that dream/wake state called, "a hypnagogic state".
We had lots of breaks and ample time for lunch. We went into the garden and frolicked with the butterfly, bees and plants. It was decided by a blindfolded vote that St. John's (Joan's) Wort would be our class flower essence . I got crying out there again and had to blow my nose on a stray piece of motherwort. My tears became part of the altar as Tiffany added it to the mix right before we walked away.
I was somewhat disappointed by the choice of SJW as I am not fond of the tincture, but the plant enthusiastically reassured me that it will be different than the tincture and that she will work with me to help children. That the essence of the class's energy would forever be in this plant's magic for me to use when needed. We were told that there really aren't any rules with flower essence except three. Our light filled intentions, some water and the plant. Simply that. She emphasized to us that our being was more important than our doing. All the feminine things I have been waiting to hear since the start of school.
After our last break of the day, we circled about to write up what we want to change, undo in our primordial, programmed recording within our own ancestral genetic encoding. I wrote to be able to manifest my true potential. To feel full by life and to leave no stone unturned.
Before ending the day, we journeyed again with our plants and I started to receive strange downloads like I need to wake up That there isn’t a lot of time left. Also that Timbuktu is an actual place not just a saying, from here to Timbuktu, and that I will return there someday. (I research Timbuktu and found that indeed it is a place in Western Africa something that I didn’t know and that Sufi teachings are buried there and are now vulnerable to destruction by Al Qaeda. According to the Internet there are also 333 Saints buried there.)
I saw things like a spider web that seemed symbolic of the past, remnants of what we had all done previously (as Celtics) that now will need to be re-planted, like fragile seeds that w/care will sprout new growth. Fear is held in the feminine collective consciousness and as healers in the past we may have faced persecution, been outcasts or deemed bad.
I felt during the day that the plants indeed have spirits and I felt very welcomed by them. “Greetings, you are here and there are friends about. I saw loved ones like my husband, and other males’ guides, mentors in real life and even fellow students from my class. I saw the color yellow and thought of SJW the flower that we used, clearing the debris in my solar plexus. The plants emphasized that I am being guided and that I am not alone. "Smiles and words of encouragement."
During one of the journey's, I felt this force sending me back and back. This force that is beyond measure and then being in a church with my yoga teacher him shaking me telling me to “wake up!” Like I have forgotten something important. Samsara hala hala. That I need to come back to my Truth.
Lila asked each of us to mention one word that come to mind of what we felt or experienced during the day. I told the group Awakened.
August 19. 2018
We had our second field trip. I want to tell you I enjoyed it. That it was fun. Restful and just what I was looking for. Is life ever what we are looking for? Sometimes I guess it is and other times…
We arrived on Monday backpacks, tents, cars filled with lunches and snacks. Uri to cook our breakfasts and dinners, and he did. The meals were varied some better than others but overall good. Veggies, grits, homespun maple syrup for pancakes made from coconut flour, sugars and the likes. He catered to our varied needs of vegan, meat filled, and gluten free. We were warned not to use a rhodedendrum stick to roast our veggie and beef hot dogs for fear of poisoning ourselves with the fumes. He is a kind gentle man who sings in a community choir. I asked him if he performs and he tells me that he wants his singing to be inclusive and that everyone can sing. He made me feel good about my off kilter voice.
The days were long but the week not too bad. It ended just like it should have. With the sun shining down on us. Jamiah taught us to make things from straw, barks and trees. She with her big earrings, and multiple rings. We all gathered around her coolness as she showed us her basket purse made from a tulip popular tree. We were serenading by songs of blueberries and yarrow. Jackfruit had us stick out our tongues as he taught us about its terrain's meaning. And that our ear is shaped like a fetus. We stumbled over roots as we plant-walked in front of Snail with him pointing out Angelica, Self-Heal, and Golden Rod. With Mike, we learned about trees as Snail mindfully meandered behind deep in plant-talk thought.
Mike had snapped at Paul (over taping the class without permission) during our last field trip so this memory was slightly imbedded in everyone's mind. I wondered if he felt bad about this? Toward the end of the tree walk, I coyly cornered Mike and asked if he could end with some Wu. He stammered that maybe a song? He sang to us as we joined in. I don't know if he or we knew what to think of the experience but I got the sense that all were grateful to have ended this way rather than keying out yet another shrub.
The second to last day, Jackfruit offered that we could opt to do something different than the blueberry bramble walk that he had planned Beth and I gratefully took him up on this. Leaving the group, we went off on our own to our respective tent and room (she stayed at the Inn.) I took my own hike to near the summit of Pisgah Forest where I saw thistle, red clover and the like. Later she told me that she had done the same.
The days started early and ended later than we would have liked based on the grumbles at the end of the days. We did have time to gazed over the mountains as the clouds hung low each afternoon and to watch falling stars and the planet Mars so close to earth at night. A few with beer or glass of wine in hand, sitting in rocking chairs at the Pisgah Inn between bites of school. It was all and all a good week. Better in reflection than when I was there.
Purnella Vulgaris beckoned to me...pick me! So I collected this pretty small flower serendipitously and apologetically. (Later I relieved to read that to pick the plant actually encourages new growth.) It is in the laminaceae family and helpful with cold and cankersores. Something I have struggled with since I was a little girl.
Here is a poem from herb faery artist and poet, Cicely Mary Barker:
The Song of the Self Heal Faery
When little Elves have cut themselves,
Or Mouse has hurt her tail,
Or Froggie's arm has come to harm,
This herb will never fail.
The Faeries' skill can cure each ill
And soothe the sorest pain;
She’ll bathe and bind, and soon she’ll find, that they are well again.
https://www.herbalremediesadvice.org/self-heal-herb.html
I saw things like a spider web that seemed symbolic of the past, remnants of what we had all done previously (as Celtics) that now will need to be re-planted, like fragile seeds that w/care will sprout new growth. Fear is held in the feminine collective consciousness and as healers in the past we may have faced persecution, been outcasts or deemed bad.
I felt during the day that the plants indeed have spirits and I felt very welcomed by them. “Greetings, you are here and there are friends about. I saw loved ones like my husband, and other males’ guides, mentors in real life and even fellow students from my class. I saw the color yellow and thought of SJW the flower that we used, clearing the debris in my solar plexus. The plants emphasized that I am being guided and that I am not alone. "Smiles and words of encouragement."
During one of the journey's, I felt this force sending me back and back. This force that is beyond measure and then being in a church with my yoga teacher him shaking me telling me to “wake up!” Like I have forgotten something important. Samsara hala hala. That I need to come back to my Truth.
Lila asked each of us to mention one word that come to mind of what we felt or experienced during the day. I told the group Awakened.
August 19. 2018
We had our second field trip. I want to tell you I enjoyed it. That it was fun. Restful and just what I was looking for. Is life ever what we are looking for? Sometimes I guess it is and other times…
We arrived on Monday backpacks, tents, cars filled with lunches and snacks. Uri to cook our breakfasts and dinners, and he did. The meals were varied some better than others but overall good. Veggies, grits, homespun maple syrup for pancakes made from coconut flour, sugars and the likes. He catered to our varied needs of vegan, meat filled, and gluten free. We were warned not to use a rhodedendrum stick to roast our veggie and beef hot dogs for fear of poisoning ourselves with the fumes. He is a kind gentle man who sings in a community choir. I asked him if he performs and he tells me that he wants his singing to be inclusive and that everyone can sing. He made me feel good about my off kilter voice.
The days were long but the week not too bad. It ended just like it should have. With the sun shining down on us. Jamiah taught us to make things from straw, barks and trees. She with her big earrings, and multiple rings. We all gathered around her coolness as she showed us her basket purse made from a tulip popular tree. We were serenading by songs of blueberries and yarrow. Jackfruit had us stick out our tongues as he taught us about its terrain's meaning. And that our ear is shaped like a fetus. We stumbled over roots as we plant-walked in front of Snail with him pointing out Angelica, Self-Heal, and Golden Rod. With Mike, we learned about trees as Snail mindfully meandered behind deep in plant-talk thought.
Mike had snapped at Paul (over taping the class without permission) during our last field trip so this memory was slightly imbedded in everyone's mind. I wondered if he felt bad about this? Toward the end of the tree walk, I coyly cornered Mike and asked if he could end with some Wu. He stammered that maybe a song? He sang to us as we joined in. I don't know if he or we knew what to think of the experience but I got the sense that all were grateful to have ended this way rather than keying out yet another shrub.
The second to last day, Jackfruit offered that we could opt to do something different than the blueberry bramble walk that he had planned Beth and I gratefully took him up on this. Leaving the group, we went off on our own to our respective tent and room (she stayed at the Inn.) I took my own hike to near the summit of Pisgah Forest where I saw thistle, red clover and the like. Later she told me that she had done the same.
The days started early and ended later than we would have liked based on the grumbles at the end of the days. We did have time to gazed over the mountains as the clouds hung low each afternoon and to watch falling stars and the planet Mars so close to earth at night. A few with beer or glass of wine in hand, sitting in rocking chairs at the Pisgah Inn between bites of school. It was all and all a good week. Better in reflection than when I was there.
Purnella Vulgaris beckoned to me...pick me! So I collected this pretty small flower serendipitously and apologetically. (Later I relieved to read that to pick the plant actually encourages new growth.) It is in the laminaceae family and helpful with cold and cankersores. Something I have struggled with since I was a little girl.
Here is a poem from herb faery artist and poet, Cicely Mary Barker:
The Song of the Self Heal Faery
When little Elves have cut themselves,
Or Mouse has hurt her tail,
Or Froggie's arm has come to harm,
This herb will never fail.
The Faeries' skill can cure each ill
And soothe the sorest pain;
She’ll bathe and bind, and soon she’ll find, that they are well again.
https://www.herbalremediesadvice.org/self-heal-herb.html
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9/13/18 We are nearing the end of herbal school and I am ready to be finished. Lots of classroom sitting over the last months and I am antsy to move on. We are down to 15 students from our original 21. Paul, Greta and another women dropped out within the last month all for their varied reasons mostly to do with work. Snail's teacher, 7Song taught us this week. He runs a free clinic in Ithaca NY and goes to gatherings around the world to provide First Aid care. He went on at the start of his presentation about how he isn't spiritual at all but science based in his approach, but I couldn't help wonder how someone who provides free medical care and devotes so much time and energy to helping people can call themselves nonspiritual in nature(? )
I have made quite a few tinctures (including self heal) and am recommending them more to my clients. This week I have had a run on skullcap. I told three clients to try it just yesterday. That and valerian and lemon balm. |
9/25/18 Herbal school ends soon and I think most of us are ready. Ready to move on. We have another field trip and Chastity who had done the program last year and is just back for review mentioned with disgust all the flies that were there last year in the mess hall at the Hostel we will be staying at. Snail somewhat forcefully told her that her commentary was an interruption but it was too late; we were able to get an unpleasant visual. Snail mentioned the need for Deet to keep the mosquitos away and I realized that for an herbalist to tell us to bring Deet really hit home with me how many bugs we will be dealing with. We are staying at this Hostel bunk-bed style. I have no one to watch Oscar and work is pretty intense lately. Not tons of clients but the ones that I have are difficult. Yeah, the end of this program cannot come fast enough. I am trying to stay present but cannot help look forward with the question of what’s next?
-October 1-5, 2018 We arrived at the Hostel in the rain. Star stripped down to swim leaving her dress by the lake as she dove in. I huddled on a swing with her umbrella over me. We were waiting for our room assignment and the other students to arrive. After that first day, we had sun. The Hostel is run by volunteers who are friendly albeit a little young. Our first night the music was blaring and Star angrily stooped down the stairs of our treehouse to tell them to turn it down. A few of them were partying with Fairygirl our third roommate. I couldn’t help but wonder if the inmates were running the show.
After that first night though it seemed more orderly. The land is beautiful with forested trees, a sandy bottom and plenty of herbal plants to plant- walk around. Things like beauty bush, papaya, orange, sweet potato leaves, and bidden to name just a few. I loved frolicking in the lake and was quite eager for our beach day at Jekyll Island. I didn’t like the distraction of the herbal classroom time and was impertinent more than once that I wasn’t going to go. At one point I was on the dock with Martha (who could be anointed as valedictorian of the class if there was one), and Jackfruit. I had just climbed up there to sun myself with a sigh as Jackfruit announced it was time for class. I told him boldly that I didn’t plan on being there and with a grain of hope asked Martha if she was going to stay with me to swim. She dutifully announced that no she was headed in for Material Medica. I lamely announced that I felt like the bad student. Jackfruit asked if I was holding shame around this and before I could fully answer, Martha, blurted out that “maybe you feel like the bad student cause you kind of are!”
Jackfruit in his egalitarian way announced that we are adults and can make our own choices to go or not to and that one of the reasons that the days are so filled with class time is b/c in the past student have actually complained that there was too much free time. “OMG, I shouted, “what was wrong with those people!!” Martha pointed out that not everyone thought the way I do. I shook my head in disbelief as I watched them swim away
Later that day though, I had the right brain activity that I so craved. A Cacao ceremony that I happily helped with, by smudging each beautiful woman as they came in. We left our grief, sadness, disappointments, fears, inadequacies there in a blessed bowl of water to be returned to the ground. Jackfruit a shaman of sorts lead us through the ceremony where we both laughed and cried. Afterward, I felt raw and drained but also invigorated, as my body buzzed into the end of the week.
I felt a tinge of disappointment when the field trip was over and as the final weeks are now approaching. I will miss these people; they have become my soul brothers and sisters. We are all different but will forever have a common bond for the interest we share in herbs, the program that we have completed and the field trips that we have experienced and endured together.
Today I get meals from Eden Out. A local meal company. I am curious to try them. They are being delivered and no boxes--just a cooler outside. I ordered a la carte and you can order week to week. Hopefully they are good and I don't get sick of them like I did last year.
-October 1-5, 2018 We arrived at the Hostel in the rain. Star stripped down to swim leaving her dress by the lake as she dove in. I huddled on a swing with her umbrella over me. We were waiting for our room assignment and the other students to arrive. After that first day, we had sun. The Hostel is run by volunteers who are friendly albeit a little young. Our first night the music was blaring and Star angrily stooped down the stairs of our treehouse to tell them to turn it down. A few of them were partying with Fairygirl our third roommate. I couldn’t help but wonder if the inmates were running the show.
After that first night though it seemed more orderly. The land is beautiful with forested trees, a sandy bottom and plenty of herbal plants to plant- walk around. Things like beauty bush, papaya, orange, sweet potato leaves, and bidden to name just a few. I loved frolicking in the lake and was quite eager for our beach day at Jekyll Island. I didn’t like the distraction of the herbal classroom time and was impertinent more than once that I wasn’t going to go. At one point I was on the dock with Martha (who could be anointed as valedictorian of the class if there was one), and Jackfruit. I had just climbed up there to sun myself with a sigh as Jackfruit announced it was time for class. I told him boldly that I didn’t plan on being there and with a grain of hope asked Martha if she was going to stay with me to swim. She dutifully announced that no she was headed in for Material Medica. I lamely announced that I felt like the bad student. Jackfruit asked if I was holding shame around this and before I could fully answer, Martha, blurted out that “maybe you feel like the bad student cause you kind of are!”
Jackfruit in his egalitarian way announced that we are adults and can make our own choices to go or not to and that one of the reasons that the days are so filled with class time is b/c in the past student have actually complained that there was too much free time. “OMG, I shouted, “what was wrong with those people!!” Martha pointed out that not everyone thought the way I do. I shook my head in disbelief as I watched them swim away
Later that day though, I had the right brain activity that I so craved. A Cacao ceremony that I happily helped with, by smudging each beautiful woman as they came in. We left our grief, sadness, disappointments, fears, inadequacies there in a blessed bowl of water to be returned to the ground. Jackfruit a shaman of sorts lead us through the ceremony where we both laughed and cried. Afterward, I felt raw and drained but also invigorated, as my body buzzed into the end of the week.
I felt a tinge of disappointment when the field trip was over and as the final weeks are now approaching. I will miss these people; they have become my soul brothers and sisters. We are all different but will forever have a common bond for the interest we share in herbs, the program that we have completed and the field trips that we have experienced and endured together.
Today I get meals from Eden Out. A local meal company. I am curious to try them. They are being delivered and no boxes--just a cooler outside. I ordered a la carte and you can order week to week. Hopefully they are good and I don't get sick of them like I did last year.