I wasn’t as drawn to going back to the smoothie shop this visit to Hilton Head but decided instead to get a Thai Massage with Marty.  I found him through the internet. 
 
It was without pretense that I signed in at a place that resembled the first studio where I had met him years before.  An office building that didn’t seem to have much more going on other than the Spa.  I saw Marty hustling around before calling me in completing his last appointment before his next with me.  He seemed much older but of course he is, the last I saw him was 14 years before.  Balding, with a little belly pouch that was my first impression of him.  But when he greeted me, I saw that familiar big smile and genuineness in his eyes that I did remember. He looked alittle like a Buddha with blue eyes.  He asked if I had had Thai before and I said that I had and then he asked, “Thailand?” I guess not many people have Thai in the States but he said there are a subsection of yogis who do.   
 
The session started out quietly and then I got curious about him and what he was about, so the questions started to pour out from me.  “You used to work at that studio in the office building?”  Yes, he had and from there he started a studio of his own in Beaufort.  It was a donation only space for yoga and it would fit 15 people crammed in but was meant for only 12 people.  “I used to have to close the doors 10 minutes before class started it was full by then.”  “People are funny they kept asking about packages and paying for a bunch of classes ahead.  I told them this is donation based don’t worry about it, but they still wanted to do this. It became a joke them creating their own system of payment.”  I added wryly, “People love to be corralled.”  “That is exactly right!” he replied.
 
In addition to the studio he had his massage business on the side.  “This is where you make money not with the classes.”  He went around the country and adjusted people in class at various studios and then would offer massage while there.  “Why did you stop doing this (back in 2009)?  He wasn’t sure why.  He liked it but it just came to a natural end.  I comment, "Yoga changed back then it became more of a business."  “Yes” he agreed.  Maybe that is why he stopped it became too complicated to set up the work.  He later decided to sell his studio to a friend who expanded it to multiple locations.  It is now called Dancing Dogs.  Now he simply offers yoga on the beach and massage through this space with flexibility that works for  the owner and him.
 
You had a smoothie place that was donation based?  "Yes, It was great.  I convinced my wife to open it and at first she was skeptical but I ran the numbers for her and she agreed.  People think I don’t understand numbers but I do.  I majored in college in Finance. My wife for years was the one who made the money.  She did contract work for cable companies.  She's very successful and still does this work a few hours a week as a consultant." Is your wife a yogi?  "No but she surely was in a previous life." (Uh huh, no doubt).

"Was it successful?"  "It was! It was great.  No stress donation only.  I set it up for my kids to run someday and they worked there for a while but then they wanted to do their own thing. Travel and stuff. “ “How old are your kids?" I asked.  “24, 22, 19 years old.” (He had three kids under 10 back then and seemed to not to have a care in the world!?)
 
"I wanted to mentor someone on how to take over the business as a donation based spot.  I finally found a friend interested. He said he would do it if I worked with him on the business side for a few months.  I told him, ‘Dude, you have to be in it 100%’ If you are going to do this you can’t be half in.  So for awhile I helped him but he couldn’t do it.  I would counsel him. ‘Dude, not 90%, not 99%, but 100%!’ He just couldn’t do it.”  “Do you mean he would get stressed?”  “Yeah, he’d get so stressed and pissed off. If a wealthy kid from the Island came in and dropped a quarter he would be furious!  I told him, ‘it’s ok it all evens out. The model will take care of itself.  People will rally around it’   So, eventually he needed to give up the donation model.  It just didn’t work for him.”  “Wow, do you miss it?”  "Yeah, but my wife and I would travel and our kids are older and doing their own thing."
 
I have to ask you, “What do you think of Donald Trump?”  (Pause) “My thinking is (he tells me), Wait and see”.   (Love everyone without judgment.)  David Williams taught me, 'It is your perception that will kill you.” “I studied with David back in the early 2000’s and we became friends. He became my mentor. He is a chill guy.” As he says this, I think about Lewis the Astanga teacher at AYC and how David is his teacher as well and how Lewis said to us last week the same thing,  "Love everyone—regardless of who they are. Your goal is to feel love for each person.”

Marty goes on to tell me stories about Williams that he toured in Europe with David Paradise and Pavarotti (whose girlfriend was a yogini) and that Williams would give Parvarotti neck adjustments.  "Parvarotti wouldn’t trust chiropractors but trusted David."  How David Williams moved to Hawaii after the yoga frenzy started in the states and how he’s originally from Greenville, NC.  “I would meet up with him near here as it is close to his home in Greenville.”
 
"It must be nice," I ask "to have your kids pretty much grown and out of the house."  Well it would be if that was the case but he and his wife have opened up their home to others.  Currently they have a few kids living with them that have needed a sanctuary away from family and life.  One kid is headed to the Coast Guard soon.  They are hosting a young lesbian couple that are struggling to make ends meet both from neglect and abuse backgrounds.  Another girl who is a missionary staying with them temporarily and one of his adult daughter’s and her husband are with them.  His daughter and son in law are expecting their first child so before going back West they are going to try and save money.  "My daughter and her husband are helping the other couple get back on their feet and counseling them."   Their home is also a sanctuary for animals. 

The Thai massage seems to end as my questions come to an end.    We thank each other.  Marty pauses before I leave as if he has noticed me for the first time.  “Some people when I tell them my story, don’t get it but you seem to get it.”

Thanks Marty, I hope so

http://www.dannyparadise.com/danny.htm
http://www.ashtangayogi.com/HTML/earlyyears.html
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Eleven years ago I was in transition teaching yoga but ready to move, on the cusp of going back to school and ready for Bill to find a job that he was happy in in either Philly or somewhere else. 

​He and I were ready for a change.  I went to a angel reader and she told me lots of things, things about moves and things about where I would live someday in a place where free time would be more cherished than money. 
 
She described Asheville and it didn’t make sense to me when we got to Cleveland as it didn’t describe at all where we were living, but it makes sense now.  She told me something else that was odd, she said that the angels were telling her not to be afraid as they describe to her that something would happen someday and that I would help people.  I wasn’t sure what that was about but it seemed big then like a war or a revolution.  I wonder if she meant now. 
 
I feel like I want to help each side understand and listen to each other with love not anger and fear.  I want to say don’t you see that you are mirrors of each other righteous in your own cause?  I want to say would you rather be right or happy?  I want to say that by each of us being centered and more receptive that alone is enough.  We are enough by being kind, by smiling at one another, by trying to hear by listening and in doing so we too can be heard.

That an action of inaction is something that is truly needed. Inaction is feminine and God knows we have way too much masculine going on right now and I am not referring to gender.  I am referring to energy. That by putting down our swords and by holding and sharing the chalice of love only then we will be set free. 
 
This is what I need to do.  This is what I need to emulate but I don’t need to impose this on others.  No.  Each of us needs to follow our own path, dharma, sense of righteousness, and follow our feet toward what we are set out to do while here.  I just know that for all of us the only true right is when we are in this place of centeredness and we will know that we are there when in our heart there is love.
 
This is Samadhi, Heaven and Peace on Earth.  When there is Good Will towards Men (and Women).  All men and women especially those who are coming from a very different place than the one we are coming from. We need to live by example of what we want to see in the world.

​We walked most of the way to the Eastern Market but the last mile we were frozen so we jumped into a cab and  engaged in conversation.  The cabbie has been in the US for 15 years.
 
His adult 31-year old son lives in Eastern Africa, has a girl friend and works as an electrical engineer.  He never brought his son here. “Does he ever come to visit you?”  “No we go to see him there.” 
 
He tells us that his wife came here after their son was grown. “You can’t raise kids here.  You can’t beat them when it’s necessary. You need to be able to beat them so they can grow up to be good people.  Have discipline and follow the rules.” “I have a friend whose son called child protection on him when he came here.  He (the friend) said afterwards, ‘Ok.  We are taking a vacation’, to his kid and the kid was excited for the trip but the trip was to send him back to his old community.  He was raised there by his people (in Africa).  I saw his son recently; he came back to the States to college.  He’s a nice kid now.”
 
Hmmm..interesting story.  “Thank you for the cab ride!” Smiles back, “Have a good day!”

I drove to DC yesterday and am here now.  The clouds have a thin hold on the sky and it seems that there is more litter on the ground than the last time I was here but other than that it seems pretty unchanged.  The people seem a tad more friendly which seems ironic given that most are unhappy with our newly minted President.  Maybe there is a sense that we are all in this together.   
 
Oscar is sleeping on the couch.  He was insecure last night and insisted that he come in our bedroom only to be kicked out mid night for snoring and waking us both up.  Liam is here and was out with his friend from the Navy.  They had a male bonding evening before his friend headed back to Georgia and Liam off to work. 
 
Today I go into Bill’s office for the first time since he started his CEO job a little over a year ago.  I don’t think I look the part of a CEO’s wife but somehow it must be fitting because that is what I am.  We are only what we are in the moment and today I am that. 
 
The Trek to his office started with a walk.  I knew that I couldn’t walk with the cold wind at my face all the way there.  Not today. So debated on the Metro or an Uber.  I must admit to being a little uneasy about the Metro.  I am quite claustrophobic and going into the dregs of this underground system that is in ill repair is frightening for me.  I did it anyway and found that I was holding my breath as the train stopped between stops. 
 
Apparently, the day before one of the trains broke down and it was hours before it was fixed.  I looked around when we stopped abruptly for the reaction of others and was somewhat relieved that no one seemed alarmed other than an African American man who was staring at me. I am sure my face showed utter terror and I hope that he wasn’t in any way taking it personally.  My fear had to do with all things around suffocation as most of my fears do. (Although I am also afraid of dizzying heights.) I breathed a sigh of relief when we exited at Bethesda, but not before taking a picture of the ascent which was required up and out of the subway station.
 
I got to thinking about fear and how it can be debilitating if we let it and of my clients who suffer from anxiety and panic.  I got a taste, today of the expeience of pushing against fear and how powerful it still is. Something not to be belittled. 
 
After meeting the peeps at Bills office we went to a tapas restaurant and then headed on home together in an Uber.  All and all a lovely gray kind of day.
 
na·vel-gaz·ing
ˈnāvəl ɡāziNG/
noun
noun: navel-gazing
self-indulgent or excessive contemplation of oneself or a single issue, at the expense of a wider view."he lapsed into his customary navel-gazing"
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(My recent fear of subways is based on reading about the King Cross fire in London)