“We shape clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.”
Arrival day before we go silent
I am anxious. Picking up on others emotions and my own. Heart beating fast and feeling fatigued. Here with my stately, tall friend Bethany who has been here many times before. Great seeing her and having her friendship, familiarity and comfort. It helps me not feel a need to be outgoing. I have already a friend and this is enough.
Then silence and I will welcome this. Thinking I should have let Liam know where the retreat is located. What was I thinking not telling him? And now no cell reception. What if something happens at home? Bill is on his own trip but he knows where I am so he will tell him. Not to worry. Prayers sent for him and the dog and I need to let it go.
We are told that we are not to comment on the meal, gossip or show appreciation for each other. I say the dinner is delicious, gossip about a yoga studio in Philadelphia and Rochester, one that had to change their name because of the other and then hug Bethany. I have already started doing everything wrong. Soon we will go silent for the next three days and then I won’t have to worry anymore.
“Awareness helps us pull away from out habitual patterns.”
Day 1 Exercise 1:
My mantra: “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
Bow to the teacher, Bow to the pillow
Sit down,
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Move my body, my mind is busy.
My butt is hurting
Breathe in, Breathe Out
I like being near the window, she took my spot
Breathe in, Breathe Out
It doesn’t matter, it isn’t my spot. We are told that we need to move around
We even have to try a chair for at least one sit. Will the ‘chair people’ then be forced to sit on the floor?
Breathe in, Breathe Out
I feel pious and sanctimonious
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Eyes open or eyes closed?
Breathe in, Breathe Out
That gong just startled me
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Was that the second gong sound for us to end? So soft, wasn’t it supposed to be the louder one?
(Stand up) wow, I hope I have time to go pee before we start again
Breathe in, Breathe Out
"The mind is a terrible master but a wonderful slave."
What is bitter will become sweet.
What is sweet will become bitter.
Day 2 Exercise 2
She asks: Resistance and your thoughts today?
Iyengar yoga throws me off kilter. I don’t like it. I like it slightly less than Bikram and I don’t like Bikram at all. I did Bikram yoga once for six months and told the teachers there I would do it until I liked it. The teacher looked startled when one day I said, “I like it today, goodbye." Maybe what I don’t like about either practice is that I cannot relax. It is all the lights and I like to do things in the shadows. The yin, the feminine.
There is nothing feminine about Iyengar yoga. It is all sitting in my right side now. The pingala nadi. My left brain. I don’t like it at all except the teacher. I do like her but I cannot really pinpoint why at this moment. Maybe because she matches and she reminds me that the Bitter can be Sweet.
Arrival day before we go silent
I am anxious. Picking up on others emotions and my own. Heart beating fast and feeling fatigued. Here with my stately, tall friend Bethany who has been here many times before. Great seeing her and having her friendship, familiarity and comfort. It helps me not feel a need to be outgoing. I have already a friend and this is enough.
Then silence and I will welcome this. Thinking I should have let Liam know where the retreat is located. What was I thinking not telling him? And now no cell reception. What if something happens at home? Bill is on his own trip but he knows where I am so he will tell him. Not to worry. Prayers sent for him and the dog and I need to let it go.
We are told that we are not to comment on the meal, gossip or show appreciation for each other. I say the dinner is delicious, gossip about a yoga studio in Philadelphia and Rochester, one that had to change their name because of the other and then hug Bethany. I have already started doing everything wrong. Soon we will go silent for the next three days and then I won’t have to worry anymore.
“Awareness helps us pull away from out habitual patterns.”
Day 1 Exercise 1:
My mantra: “Breathe In, Breathe Out”
Bow to the teacher, Bow to the pillow
Sit down,
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Move my body, my mind is busy.
My butt is hurting
Breathe in, Breathe Out
I like being near the window, she took my spot
Breathe in, Breathe Out
It doesn’t matter, it isn’t my spot. We are told that we need to move around
We even have to try a chair for at least one sit. Will the ‘chair people’ then be forced to sit on the floor?
Breathe in, Breathe Out
I feel pious and sanctimonious
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Eyes open or eyes closed?
Breathe in, Breathe Out
That gong just startled me
Breathe in, Breathe Out
Was that the second gong sound for us to end? So soft, wasn’t it supposed to be the louder one?
(Stand up) wow, I hope I have time to go pee before we start again
Breathe in, Breathe Out
"The mind is a terrible master but a wonderful slave."
What is bitter will become sweet.
What is sweet will become bitter.
Day 2 Exercise 2
She asks: Resistance and your thoughts today?
Iyengar yoga throws me off kilter. I don’t like it. I like it slightly less than Bikram and I don’t like Bikram at all. I did Bikram yoga once for six months and told the teachers there I would do it until I liked it. The teacher looked startled when one day I said, “I like it today, goodbye." Maybe what I don’t like about either practice is that I cannot relax. It is all the lights and I like to do things in the shadows. The yin, the feminine.
There is nothing feminine about Iyengar yoga. It is all sitting in my right side now. The pingala nadi. My left brain. I don’t like it at all except the teacher. I do like her but I cannot really pinpoint why at this moment. Maybe because she matches and she reminds me that the Bitter can be Sweet.
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