Asheville 2014
Throughout my day I try to zero in on the psychology and serendipitous nature of life and its occurrences...from the perspective of working as a holistic mental health healthcare professional but more importantly as a yogi and writing enthusiast....
I was at work when I heard a therapist buzzing around outside my door. Wally is a tall graying man, 68 years old who likes to socialize and his approach is ‘hey you, how are you doing buddy.’ He hasn’t kept up with the newest techniques but takes a folksy approach. One that works better with the younger kids or maybe worked better long ago. I find I treat him impatiently when he comes into my office. I usually tell him that I have to go see a client and can talk later; he’s always sorry and apologetic but tends to move out of the way slowly his tall figure hovering in the doorway before he steps aside for me to pass.
Yesterday though I welcomed him in when he asked if I have a minute. Without pretense he tells me that he had a heart attack. He shakes his head matter of factly as he speaks about his heart attack in the same way he would of the mundane happenings with the kids that he sees. That he had jogged the week before clocking hours and took a hike also. That at midnight he was unable to sleep because of chest pain “I had this pain in my chest” he wryly confides as he shakes his head. “It went away though”—he stresses his words as he adds, “I did some deep breathing” but it came back later that night. He waited until morning to go to the emergency room. “I didn’t go earlier because you know what the ER is like in the middle of the night…”
When he finally did get to the ER at 6a and they told him to take a seat. I image he had the same calm, friendly look on his face that he carries throughout his days which made them ignore the seriousness of it. They were addressing the needs of a five year old with something minor before examining him. When it was his turn they hooked him up to an EKG machine and when the data started to spew out the disturbing information, the woman doing the testing freaked out and screamed “You are having a heart attack, right now!!” (As if it was a total surprise that a man of 68 years old with chest pains might be having a heart attack and doubly odd that it would be of any benefit to him to scream this into his face). Apparently people started to run at him from every direction.
Wally shook his head as he tells me this story surreal as it is to both of us, this mild manner man who seemingly walks around unhurried and undisturbed by life’s happening, vegetarian, runner and hiker has had a major heart attack. He said that his labs are mostly perfect when he goes to his yearly checkup. “They have always been good.” It was like he felt that he did something wrong but wasn’t sure what.
I asked if he has a wife and he replied, “oh sure Carol.” I wondered about his relationship with Carol as he says that everyone was to get on with their life when he was in the hospital and that he told her to go, go walk with her male friend the next day as they were scheduled to do on their weekly time slot. I silently questioned this maybe his wife didn’t prioritize him any more than any of us do?
I ran into him hours later and he confides that he will miss me as my last days there are soon approaching. He said that I have always been cheerful and a good listener. I find these words sadly ironic. Does anyone really listen to him… this gentle sweet man and why did he have a heart attack in the first place, I wonder this as I go about my day.
Throughout my day I try to zero in on the psychology and serendipitous nature of life and its occurrences...from the perspective of working as a holistic mental health healthcare professional but more importantly as a yogi and writing enthusiast....
I was at work when I heard a therapist buzzing around outside my door. Wally is a tall graying man, 68 years old who likes to socialize and his approach is ‘hey you, how are you doing buddy.’ He hasn’t kept up with the newest techniques but takes a folksy approach. One that works better with the younger kids or maybe worked better long ago. I find I treat him impatiently when he comes into my office. I usually tell him that I have to go see a client and can talk later; he’s always sorry and apologetic but tends to move out of the way slowly his tall figure hovering in the doorway before he steps aside for me to pass.
Yesterday though I welcomed him in when he asked if I have a minute. Without pretense he tells me that he had a heart attack. He shakes his head matter of factly as he speaks about his heart attack in the same way he would of the mundane happenings with the kids that he sees. That he had jogged the week before clocking hours and took a hike also. That at midnight he was unable to sleep because of chest pain “I had this pain in my chest” he wryly confides as he shakes his head. “It went away though”—he stresses his words as he adds, “I did some deep breathing” but it came back later that night. He waited until morning to go to the emergency room. “I didn’t go earlier because you know what the ER is like in the middle of the night…”
When he finally did get to the ER at 6a and they told him to take a seat. I image he had the same calm, friendly look on his face that he carries throughout his days which made them ignore the seriousness of it. They were addressing the needs of a five year old with something minor before examining him. When it was his turn they hooked him up to an EKG machine and when the data started to spew out the disturbing information, the woman doing the testing freaked out and screamed “You are having a heart attack, right now!!” (As if it was a total surprise that a man of 68 years old with chest pains might be having a heart attack and doubly odd that it would be of any benefit to him to scream this into his face). Apparently people started to run at him from every direction.
Wally shook his head as he tells me this story surreal as it is to both of us, this mild manner man who seemingly walks around unhurried and undisturbed by life’s happening, vegetarian, runner and hiker has had a major heart attack. He said that his labs are mostly perfect when he goes to his yearly checkup. “They have always been good.” It was like he felt that he did something wrong but wasn’t sure what.
I asked if he has a wife and he replied, “oh sure Carol.” I wondered about his relationship with Carol as he says that everyone was to get on with their life when he was in the hospital and that he told her to go, go walk with her male friend the next day as they were scheduled to do on their weekly time slot. I silently questioned this maybe his wife didn’t prioritize him any more than any of us do?
I ran into him hours later and he confides that he will miss me as my last days there are soon approaching. He said that I have always been cheerful and a good listener. I find these words sadly ironic. Does anyone really listen to him… this gentle sweet man and why did he have a heart attack in the first place, I wonder this as I go about my day.
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